Broken Wings (unofficial title)

Chapter 1

Ciladol, March 7th

Opening my eyes only to find perfectly polished marble running down the hallway, a wide red carpet filling half the ground, I find myself wondering whether I’ll ever be somewhere else than here. Trapped in this fairytale that, I would never dare to say aloud, I’ve secretly grown sick of. Every door on every side of the hallway is guarded by two guards that are clad all in black, offering a big contrary to the white marble. When looking up, you find several glass domes that show the astounding cloudless sky that is a perfect blue. I walk down the hall, my black ballerina’s making no sound on the soft carpet, to stop all the way at the other side, in front of the door that will open to the gardens.

“Open,” I order the guards, who each obediently take one of the door handles and pull them in, exposing the wild nature outside to me. Exotic flowers, high grass and tall trees. I step outside and breathe in deeply, taking in the smell of freedom, though it’s only temporary. Running my way to the gates at the South side of the palace, I feel in my chest how my heart is starting to beat faster already. Soon, the trees of the forest are all around me, surrounding me like I’m a mouse in a maze, trying to find my way to the cheese that’s hidden somewhere, waiting to be found. I dart on, brushing past branches that are completely covered in thick leaves, coloured a bright green. I get to the tree I’m looking for and slow my pace, moving to my left until I find another tree at which I turn right. From there I walk until I find Declan sitting with his back to me, humming a song. I squeak softly in excitement and kneel down behind him to hug him from behind and press soft kisses onto his neck.

“Chloe,” he breathes, leaning back against me, his hands finding their way up to find my face. He turns halfway around and cups my face in his hands before he kisses me tenderly.

“I missed you,” I whisper into his ear. He moans in agreement and gets up to fold his arms around my waist and lift me up in an embrace.

“You just saw me two hours ago,” Declan reminds me.

“You know what I mean,” I say in genuine earnest, “I hate how we can never show this..” He puts me back onto the ground and tugs a lock of hair behind my ear as he smiles at me.

“But in a way,” he says dreamily, “it’s kind of exciting how we keep breaking the rules.”

“If my father finds out what we’re doing, he’ll make sure we’ll regret it,” I remind him, pointing my two index fingers at his chest.

“Dear Chloe, I wouldn’t regret loving you even if it would get me killed,” he says softly, taking my hands from his chest to kiss both their backs.

“But I would, if it would get you killed,” I reply, slipping my hands out of his before I take several steps back and decide to change the subject. “What are we up for today?”

“How about some,” Declan starts, as I hear him approach slowly before he adds quietly, “Music?” I turn around at the sound of that word, a humble smile on my lips, and watch how he walks to some tree and fetches a guitar. “The musicians got new instruments and I asked if I could have this one,” he explains after having seen my shocked face that inclined me wondering whether he had stolen it.

“But you can’t play,” I chuckle.

“Everything can be learned,” he says with a subtle wink. He squats down in the grass and tries out some cords, turning out to not be a natural at playing the guitar.

“You’re a disaster,” I  tell him as I squat down opposite of him so I can watch how he tries to put his fingers on the right bars.

“Are you implying that you do know how to play?” he challenges me.

“Well, I do play the piano, so I must be able to get something nice out of that thing,” I chuckle, “But I fear the worst.” Declan moves his eyes over my face, scanning my happiness, analyzing it carefully.

“Can’t we run away?” he breathes, his eyes locking with mine. Above us I hear the sound of birds tweeting to each other. The silence between us seems to last forever.

“We have no idea what’s out there,” I say, “No idea who our enemies are.. I’m scared to lose you more than I hate keeping this a secret.” I look up to the sky and sigh deeply.

“We’ll never be together,” Declan points out, “Your father will never approve. One day, you’ll marry some random rich guy that you’ve never even spoken to and you’ll make babies with him and it will never be true love.”

“Don’t tell me what I already know. I wish I could change my future, but what can I do? Who am I to disobey my father, the king?”

“Run away with me, that’s the only way,” he says pleadingly, “I’ll protect you.”

“I can’t,” I whisper, not wanting to hurt his feelings. But the look in his eyes tells me enough. He’s upset. He’s angry with me. And he has every right. At last, he gets up and walks away without a word. No goodbye, no kiss, nothing.

Back in the palace, I’m again surrounded by maids that try to make me comfortable by taking orders, but all I truly want, is to be alone. I want to cry and yell at my father for causing this distress between me and Declan, but I know that will only make things worse.

“Darling, there you are,” I hear my mother’s voice from behind me. I turn around and watch how she nears me in her light pink gown that reaches all the way to the floor.

“Hi, Mom,” I whisper, glad Father isn’t around to judge my choice of word, for he prefers I call her Mother.

“Where’ve you been? You seem a little upset,” she notices, making part of me wish she didn’t know me that well. Still, I long to tell her everything that I’ve been through the last half year. Loving silently. Living a broken life. But she can’t know. Ever.

“I was reading a book outside, it had quite a disturbing end,” I explain. In her eyes I detect a twitch that tells me she isn’t convinced, but she lets it pass nonetheless, asking no further questions.

“Oh.. Well, your father wishes to speak with you,” she tells me, “He’s in the library.”

“I’ll go see him right away,” I reply obediently.

When I enter the library, I’m faced with the warm interior of nothing but books and two dark red couches in the middle of the room. Dad is standing on the opposite side of the room, holding what seems like a thick history book which I’m not allowed to read, because, as my parents say, I’m still underage.

“Father, you wanted to see me?” I say gently. He turns around and offers me a smile that disappears as quick as it came.

“Yes, Chloe,” he confirms, closing the book and putting it back into the bookcase behind him. He crosses half the library to sit in one of the couches and I follow his example to take a seat on the other couch. “Your birthday is only two weeks away. I’ve been meaning to introduce your husband to be to our family and invite him over next week.”

“Father,” I object, but he holds up his hand to stop me from speaking.

“No, Chloe. This is the way it has always been. You shall marry Lord Soren and you will be Queen one day.” I feel an intense sadness welling up in my core, but I succeed in ignoring it, at least for a few more minutes.

“Does my happiness mean nothing to you?” I whisper, not wanting to make him angry, for that will only make things worse. I don’t dare to look at him, knowing he’ll be watching me with disappoint, which always makes me feel as though he had rather had no children than had me. All that comes from his side is a deep sigh, which tells me more than words and aches my soul, cutting it sharply.

I get up and bow quickly, “Excuse me, Father,” before I leave the room. Once the guards outside the library have closed the doors, I let myself cry. As usual, none of the eight guards that hear me cry, come to comfort me. I used to think of them as heartless creatures, but I know that if any of them show compassion, he’ll be thrown out without any sign of mercy. I suck in air through my lips, closing my eyes and blow the air back out. I swallow loudly and shake my head before I make my way to my room, which I don’t leave before falling asleep into a vivid nightmare that causes me to wake up several times that night, covered in sweat.