My Life: Its Ok, I Guess.

Excuse Seth, While He Kisses The Sky

So maybe i should switch up the pace a bit, and talk about something other than sex;

Magical mushrooms, yes indeedy, feed the needy!

I just want to say, i'm not advocating drugs, or using them in any way, shape or form.

However, this night was a lot of fun!

So there i was, roughly 17 years old and hanging out with 3 of my good friends, watching them play mortal kombat. We had just finished smoking a fat joint, and my chubby ass had cotton mouth.i get up and walk to the kitchen, thinking random stoner thoughts, such as "why is embargo "o grab me" when spelled backwards?" And "why do white people love mayonnaise?".

Open the fridge, JACKPOT!

Grape Drink! (Cant say the name, not sure how far this story will reach haha, but it rhymes with "dool-baid")

I pour a glass of it, and take a huge swig, and walk back into the den.

My friend, "Chad", looks at me with concern.

"Hey man...what are you drinking?"

"Grape drink."

And then he let out a long "oh no" chuckle, kinda sounded like a sputtering engine.

"What? Why are you laughing?"

I asked.

"Dude...that's not grape drink...its shroom-aid"

Holy fuckballs...

And i had drank a lot of it!

One of my friends, a girl named "Amy", came over and sat me down.

"Ok, stay calm. Do not panic, and you'll have a lot of fun!"

I had never done this before, but i took her advice.

Chad took the cup from me, and drank some, handing it to Amy and she did as well. The other guy, "Derrick" passed on it, because he had work the next day.

As i said, i never done it, but they assured me i'd be fine.

Chad sat next to me, and was talking about what it does to you, and as he was talking, his face started to elongate...and suddenly i was in a whole other plain of existence!

*Cue pink floyd*

I was tripping BALLS, and laughing my ass off!

Derrick needed to go to the mall to get something for his brother's birthday, and we absolutely LOVED that idea. We were fuckin stoked to get that little fucker a gift!

So we hop in the back of his truck, laughing hysterically at...NOTHING.

As we take off, i look at the dusky sky, and its moving slowly and there's some awesome cloud shapes, in my head im making a song about Clowns and coconut clouds, man...every Beatles song made sense now!

We get close to the tunnel, and the lights were stretching out, taking the term "tunnel vision" to a whole new term. I felt like i was in a secret universe, and all of these other cars were just robots trying to find inner peace...what can i say, man? I was FUCKED up.

We get to the mall, and im dancing like mick jagger the whole walk to the entrance.

Before we entered, we ran into "Brody", a good friend of ours. Chad, Amy, and, Derrick chatted with him, but me? Oh no.

No, i had other obligations. You see, i happen to look down and see a popsicle stick, with its cherry red stain on it.

And this gnarly group of ants were all over it.

I started giving them names like Antoine, Anthony, and my main man, Phil.

There was a trail, and i was so fucking pumped, i started yelling "GO! GO! Get it to the queen, boys! The ants go marching one by one hurrah HURRAAAAAH!"

Brody looks at me,

"You ok, Seth?"

"I'm fucking dandy! Look at those fuckin ants, though! Aren't they nifty?!"

Brody turned to Chad, "you gave him shrooms, didn't you?"

"Nope! Gave em to myself!!! And i feel fucking fantastic! "

I said, proudly.

They decided, for one reason or another, that i needed to go inside the mall with them.
Because, why not?

The first stop was the video game store;

Derrick needed an expansion pack, or some such shit.

We walk in, and immediately i saw headlights! Wtf, mate?

I dove behind a display and broke a rack!

The guy behind the counter rushed over, and i yelled

"Did you fuckin' see that?!"

He shook his head no.

"Crazy bitch almost ran me over!"

To which they responded, by calling security and had me escorted out.

The next day, i was feeling like shit!

My face, ribs, and shoulder were aching so bad, from laughing and smacking the rack at the store. I hated the feeling, but i didnt mind the cause of it!