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19: Never Coming Back

     December 22nd, 2016

     It didn't take long before everyone wanted to go home, so no one got too weary of going back to Summerlin. Cliques had had their quarrels, and being with your friends for six days straight and not being able to get rid of them wasn't as fun as it sounded on December 16th. In all honesty, this trip was awful, and I dread the Spring vacation coming this April. The snow, ice and limiting weather made this trip a nightmare, along with Esmeralda revealing how psychotic she is, and Brendon acting like everything was fine. Everything wasn't fine, at least not for me. I was worried about Brendon. Is he okay? Did he not want me to know about what happened between him and Esmeralda? What else is he hiding?

     As I load the empty bus with my luggage in hand, I take a deep sigh and adjust the camera around my neck. I'm never coming back to Reno. At least I don't plan to.

     "Scout." I hear a soft voice say, and I know it's Brendon. It's that voice he uses when he's sorry. But he has nothing to be sorry about.

     I put my bags in the storage above my seat and lay my purse on my seat before walking towards him, He walks past me to put his stuff down, and I almost, almost find myself reaching for his hand.

     "Hey," Brendon says, and my head drops as I come closer to him. "Hey, I'm sorry you were worried, please don't be sad, I--"

     "Stop talking for a sec and let me talk. I never talk." I tell him, and he seems surprised. Esmeralda was somewhat right about my ability to carry a conversation. Time to be the dramatic journalist and newscaster I am, I'll talk all day, but as for a real conversation, I wasn't quite there yet. I like one-word replies and short phrases, but sometimes, that doesn't fly.

     "Okay." he says.

     "I think about you so much, and I worry that one day you'll get enough of people fucking you over and I'll never see you again. I want you to know that I'm not just here to eat McDonald's in your car and FaceTime you when you can't sleep. I'm here to be your friend. Your best friend. Well... one of your best friends. I know I don't talk all that much and I seem bored with every word you say, but I'm not. I like talking to you, and I want you to talk to me forever."

     "Best... friends?"

     "Yeah."

      "Thanks."

     "You deserve it."

     "I really care about you a lot, Scout."

     "We say that to each other too much," I say, folding my arms across my chest.

     "You're right, maybe there's another way to say that."

     "I love you," I say, and I don't regret it at all, for some reason. It feels like I needed to say that, and Brendon needed to hear that.

     "What?" Brendon seems to choke on that one word, and I chuckle in response.

     "Like in a best friend way. I say it to the others, why not you?"

     "I-I uh, I l-love you, too..."

     Like I've said before, this school year doesn't seem too real. My life is becoming a shitty dramatic comedy, but maybe it was long overdue for me to... shake it up a little and come out my comfort zone.

     Brendon sits next to me as other students start rolling in. I take several pictures of him which makes him smile. Wow, I like it when he smiles. When Esmeralda loads the bus, she sits in the front, the farthest away from us and our group. We don't make eye contact, but I can feel her staring at me like a predator in the jungle.