Why Him?

Feelings inside

I paused before I could say anything more. I stare into Lucas's eyes. And I get a gut feeling. I know what I need to say. "Lucas. Your a good guy and I know why Riley liked you so much. It was easy for me to gain feelings for you after you told me you liked me. But I've been lying to myself. As good of a guy you are. You don't make me feel the same way that Josh makes me feel." I grab his hand. "I know I kissed you but I was caught up in everything. You liking me, kissing me, telling me you weren't going to stop trying to win my over. I liked the thought of someone wanting me. But I didn't realize that I already have someone who does. Josh makes me so happy. I thought I was just with him because it was the right thing to do since I'm pregnant but its more then that. And I realize that now. So you wanna know where we stand? As friends. I believe that Riley will forgive you. And when she does I believe our group of friends will go back to the way it was. Because our friendship is too strong to fall apart because of some petty dating drama. We're all good friends. And I think that's what we're supposed to be." I let go of his hand and catch his gaze. He looks slightly disappointed. "I want you to be happy Maya. If being with Josh makes you happy. Then I'll be fine on my own. Thank you for being honest with me." I smile. "No problem ranger rick." he laughs. "I'll see you at school Monday?" I nod. "Yeah." he gets up and walks out the door.

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I sit there thinking. Why am I still sitting here? Josh thinks that I'm pursuing something with Lucas but I could never. Josh is the one I want. Nothing can ever change that. He needs to know that. I grab my coat and walk down stairs. I hop in a cab and head to his apartment. When I get there I can't help but smile when I see his face. "Maya. What are you doing her?" I take in a big breath. "You told me that I need to follow my heart. And that if it was leading me somewhere else that it was okay. But its not leading me anywhere else. Josh my heart is here. With you. No one could ever change that. I thought I had feelings for Lucas but I don't. They were just a distraction to avoid facing what I feel for you. I've grown up always being disappointed. I thought hope was for suckers. I thought I would never find someone you I could trust with my heart. But I did. Josh........ I'm in love with you." my smile grew wider. Before he could say anything a female voice interrupts. "Josh are you ready to go?" she then stepped into the doorway and rested her hand on his shoulder. "Who's this?" she asked as she stared directly at my stomach. Josh's face sunk. "Maya I-" I walk away before he can continue. Tears streaming down my face.

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