The Diary of A Girl Who Thought She Would Never Make It

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December 7 ~ 7:01 PM

I despise working in groups. I hate every aspect of a group project.

You have to 'cooperate'.

You have to 'work together'.

But what if you can't? Do people ever think of that? Do people ever think of those two simple words:

I can't.

Some people, like me, who have severe social anxiety do not work in groups very well because of that fear that lies in the pit of your stomach.

For me, it isn't just a fear. It's my reality.

Everyday, as soon as I walk out of the bitter cold of winter into the blasting heat of my school, it begins.

Rejection from your peers.

Judgmental opinions coming from all around.

Everyone calling me a loner or a freak.

So many things are said. I have just learned not to listen.

I have learned to hide my iPod in my jacket pocket and keep my earbuds in. I block the real world out and stay in my own.

I don't want sympathy or pity. I don't need it. I never have. I never will.

But, I also didn't ask to be the way I am now. Nobody asks to be a person with severe social anxiety. Or any disorder, for that matter. It comes upon them by other people's actions.

People made me this way. People made me the freak they claim me to be.

Already being a person with many insecurities and always being fearful of rejection did not help my case either. It was unfair in every way.

I guess that is just how life is.

Unfair.