The Life We Left || Captain Swan AU

Chapter 12

M rated chapter!!!
Emma's POV
I put on dark jeans and a white sweater and throw on my grey parka to go to Granny's. I jump in my car and drove over.
I start to walk up when I get a weird feeling. This will be my last night in Storybrooke... Ever
I open the door to Granny's and see that it's dark.
Then everyone popped out and yelled surprise.
Oh my god. It's a surprise party for me.
I jump because I was startled then Ruby comes over and hugs me
"I know you said you didn't want to do anything but I had to I'm sorry"
She says and then kisses my cheek
"Happy birthday"
She adds
"Thank you Ruby. For everything. You have been like a sister to me and I really appreciate it"
"God Emma you sound like you're leaving town"
She says laughing. I fake a laugh along with her.
I greeted everyone at the party except one person. Killian.
I walk up to the bar to get a beer when he come up behind me.
"Uh Emma"
He says awkwardly. I turn around to him
"I just wanted to say happy birthday"
"Thank you"
"Can we talk?"
"It's not really a good time right now"
"Emma is it ever going to be a good time?"
I start to tear up. I can't  let all these people see me cry, and I sure as hell can't tell them why I am crying so I walk outside for some air. Killian is following me outside. As I walk across the street he catches up to me and grabs my arm to turn me around. To try and avoid eye contact I look at the ground
"Emma what is the matter?"
"It's nothing"
"It isn't nothing, you can't even look me in the eye"
He says putting his hand under my chin forcing me to look him in the eye.
"Emma please tell me"
"Every realation ship I've ever had has ended horrible. I mean I'm just unloveable. I screw thing up. I run, it's what I've done my whole life and it's the only thing I'm good at."
He is looking at me sadly.
I should tell him I love him
"I love y-... What we have but I can't let you break my walls down to just get myself hurt again"
I chickened out of telling him.
"Emma, don't think for one second that you are unlovable. I love you Emma Swan,"
His words take my breath away
"I know you aren't ready to say those words but it doesn't change how I feel. I would never hurt you, I would never be able to hurt you I love you so much Emma"
He says as he crashes his lips to mine. Right there in the middle of Storybrooke. I wouldn't want to spend my last night here with anyone else.
I pull away
"After the party do you want to come to my place?"
I ask
"I wouldn't want anything more"
He says smirking.
We walk back inside hand in hand. I introduce Killian to Granny. And then I sit with Mary Margret and Ruby and talk to them.
After about two hours people start to leave. I find Killian and he escorts me out.
"Do you want to take my car home?"
I ask
"Sure"
I get I the drivers side and drive back to my apartment. As soon as I unlock the door and I walk inside Killian pins me up against the door and starts kissing me. He slides his tongue over my bottom lip so I open my mouth wider. I feel his warm tongue roam my mouth. He pulls on my hair a bit making me tilt my head back, deepening the kiss even more. Killian starts messing with the hem of my shirt and kissing down my neck. I breathlessly ask "do you want to take this to the bedroom?"
He gives me a sexy smirk and them bends down and grabs my legs, flinging me over his shoulder making me laugh so loud. Wow I'm going to miss this guy. He runs from the door way into my room but once we get in there he stops in the door frame. Oh fuck! All of my stuff is boxed up. He bends down and puts my feet on the ground in front of of him, so that I am now looking at him
"Are you leaving?"
He asks looking at the absence of my things.
I can't tell him that I'm leaving tomorrow, I need to think of something to say, fast!
"Kiss me"
Is the only thing that came out if my mouth
"Emma are you-"
I cut him off
"Killian kiss me"
Please kiss me. Please forget about all this. Please make this last night bet. Please just kiss me.
He knows that I'm leaving, I can see it in his eyes, but he kisses me any way, pushing me on to my bed. He hovers over me and just looks at me. I put my hand on his cheek and lean up to kiss him. His tongue roams my mouth. I pull his shirt over his head and he does the same with me. She starts kissing down my neck onto my boobs. Them she reaches behind me and unclips my bra, throwing it across the room. He cups my left breast making me moan. He continues kissing down my body until he gets to my jeans. He slow unbuckles my belt and unbuttons my jeans, teasing me. Eventually my jeans are thrown into the pile of clothes. He hovers over me kissing my neck while I try and unbuckle his jeans. Once I get it he pulls down his jeans and throws them to the floor.
Killian starts kissing down my body again but this time sucking hard at the underwear line. He slowly pulls down my underwear, placing them on the ground. Them he takes off his boxers revealing his length, he puts a condom on. He slowly climbs on top of my, putting little body weight on me.
"Are you sure?"
I nod. I want this, more than anything.
I bend my legs around his hips then he slowly inserts himself into my, making my gasp. With each thrust he goes quicker and harder. I can hardly take it anymore, this feels like paradise. I reach my climax and Killian follows shortly after. He lays down next to me and I put my head on his chest, listening to his heartbeat while he draws patterns on my back with his fingertips.
I don't want this moment to be ruined, I wish it could last forever.
He takes a heavy breath in and a heavy breath out and whispers
"Why?"
I take a sharp intake of breathe
"I have to"
"Why? Why can't you just stay? Why are you so afraid of your life getting good"
I felt tears start to form in my eyes
"It never stays that way"
I say fighting tears
"What makes you so scared to commit?"
I felt a tear fun down my cheek
"Every time it think things are going well, even the littlest bit, they turn out horrible wrong. And it's just my luck. So I run. I can't settle down, I just can't. I've always ran and I always will run, it's just how I am"
Killian wipes my tears
"Then let me come with you"
"Absolutely not."
"At least tell me where you're going"
"You know I can't do that"
I say getting up and putting in a tee shirt and shorts. Then I climb into bed.
"I haven't told anyone this but I got offered a job in Boston. I'm taking it. I have to go"
Killian looks at me and I can see the pain in his eyes. I climb back into bed next to him. He puts one arm under my legs and the other on the back. He picks me up and puts me in his lap. Then he just hugs me. He hugs me so right that I feel like all my broken pieces fit together. I feel the tears streaming down my face, I'm now sobbing. I don't want it to be like this but it has to.
After I calm down Killian gets up and puts his boxers and jeans on
"I should go, it's late"
"Wait"
I say just as he's about to walk out my bedroom door
"Please stay with me"
He turns around and takes off his jeans so he is just in his boxers. He lays down next to me and I rest my head on his chest, he kisses my forehead and I doze off. I wake up before Killian so I climb out of bed, trying not to wake him. I peer out the window, the sun hasn't risen yet. I quietly put on a pair of leggings and a sweatshirt. Then I carry my boxes down to my car. I come back up and I write notes to everyone. I can't say goodbye in person, it would be too hard.
My letter to August says
'August,
Thank you for being a brother to me. You and Ruby were the only people who stuck by my side through everything. You and Milah are going to get married and settle down, you guys will last. I'm so sorry I have to go but, I have to.
With love,
Emma'
Then I write one to Ruby
'Ruby
You have been my best friend and my sister ever since I can remember. Life has so many adventures in store for you Ruby, you are going to be so successful. You are headstrong and I love that about you. Please forgive me, Ruby but I must leave. I'm going to miss you and Granny, please don't let me leaving make all of our good memories bad. I'll never forget you.
With love,
Emma'
Then I wrote one to Mary Margret
'Dear Mary Margret,
Im so glad we have became such good friends in such short time. I really hope that you and David work out, you both deserve your true love. If true love were easy everyome would have it, so fight for it! I'll miss you
With love,
Emma'

There's only one more letter I need to write, but I have no idea what the hell I'm going to say.

Sorry for the shorter chapter