CONFLICTED

Chapter 5

As I click the unlock button with my keys, walking towards my car, I roll my eyes as James laughs beside me. "I still can't believe YOU got detention!" He shakes his head in disbelief as I yank my car door open in annoyance and get inside the drivers seat. "Shut up!" I groan, starting the engine of the car and driving away from campus. James holds his hands up in the air, "I'm sorry I'm sorry it's just hard to imagine Ms. Good girl even getting a red slip." He shakes his head again before running his fingers through his dirty blonde hair. I bite my lip nervously as I stare at the road ahead of me. I think back on how Liam and I were talking in the halls, and I how he said he was into me and has been for awhile. I couldn't believe that even happened, it felt like a dream. A dream I've had many times of Liam Soprano claiming his love for me and we ride off together in his blacked out Harley. Okay, so maybe that part didn't actually happen but the part of him actually liking me was. "Hello? Ev? You there?" I blink back into reality as I hear James calling my name and nudging my shoulder gently. I realize I was at a Stop sign for too long and let go of the break as I shake my head. "Sorry, I just have a lot on my mind" I glance at him and give a small smile but it slowly disappeared as the feeling of guilt came back over me. I still don't know where me and James stand ever since the kiss and now that Liam is coming into my life I don't know what's going to happen. It's not fair to James for him to not know what's been going on but something inside me says I shouldn't really say how I got detention or more like who. "It's cool. When do you have to go in to serve time?" James grins at his witty comment. "It's tomorrow after school. So three until four." I glance at him and sigh. "That's not so bad. What do you do there? Sweep the floors? Pick up trash?" He raises his eyebrows in amusement. "No stupid, we just sit and do homework in silence." I roll my eyes as I realize he's getting a kick out of me getting in trouble. It's true though, I've always been the kid that never gets into trouble and stays to myself most of the time. The only time I've ever been to the school office was to go to the nurses office or when I was little, call home because I was sick. I've never even had detention. One day with Liam Soprano and look at the trouble he's already getting you in. I thought to myself. "So how exactly did you get in trouble?" I hear James ask and I nervously try to think up a good excuse without mentioning Liam. James knew I always had a crush on Liam and he always said he was a jerk and treats girls like shit. It was clear James wasn't exactly a fan of him. I just wanted to stay away from drama or from James getting upset, so I quickly thought up an excuse. "Well, I was late to class and the hall monitor caught me." Okay, you're not lying because that is true. I watch James nod and then laugh loudly. "When have you ever been late to a class? You're always one of the first to arrive." He crosses his arms, intrigued by my next answer. "Well, I had to talk to a teacher before hand and she didn't write me a pass." I shrug and give myself a mental pat on the back for thinking up such a clever lie. Okay, so that part is a lie but it's a little one. "Ah, okay, that makes sense." I relax as he stops with the interrogating questions and we finally pull up to my house. For as long as I can remember, James and I always have study sessions at one of our houses after school. Today, it was at my place. I grab my backpack from the backseat and we both walk up to my side door, I unlock it with my key and step inside. James closes the door behind us and we take off our shoes on the mats. My mom loves a clean home so no walking around with shoes in the house is a rule of hers. I head towards the kitchen calling out from behind me "Want anything to drink?" I open the fridge. "I think a Red Bull would be needed to get me through all this homework" I hear James sigh as he sits down on one of the bar stools by the kitchen counter. I grab a water bottle for myself and a red bull before turning around and closing the fridge behind me. I lean over and slide the Red Bull towards him. "Did you get that huge project from Ford too?" I open my water and take a sip before moving across the island and grabbing a stool next to James, sitting down. I watch as he opens his drink and takes a few sips, nodding his head before putting the Red Bull down. "Yeah and the 5 page essay from Stein and a history report on ancient ruins from Dilaurentis." He rolls his eyes and starts taking his binders and folders out of his backpack. I watch him and think how odd it feels to be doing something we have done for years, but this time it feels different. I feel more aware. To him it seems like another normal hang out session but ever since James said all those things to me in the parking lot, it feels different. I clear my throat and start trying to concentrate on my homework, looking down at my notes for Psych as I tap my pencil against my water bottle. No matter how hard I tried to focus, having James next to me and thinking about my detention tomorrow with Liam was all too distracting. I look up slowly and glance at James only to see him starring back at me. He smiles softly. "What's wrong Ev, you seem to be somewhere else." I smile back at him. He knows me so well, he always has. I shrug and doodle on my lined paper, "I don't know, I guess with all that's been going on, the detention and these tests and homework it's all been too much." I looked back up at his blue eyes. I lied to him again. That's not how I felt. My mind was somewhere else because it was thinking of Liam and where me and James stand. I just wanted to ask him but I didn't know how. I don't want to ruin such a good friendship we have and I don't know what a relationship is going to do for us. I sigh and run my fingers through my hair before asking, "James-" I was suddenly caught off as a pair of lips collide with mine. I stay stunned as I feel his hands wrap around my waist, pulling me closer to him. My brain finally decided to work and I realize James is kissing me. He just kissed me out of nowhere. Before I knew it, I found my lips kissing him back, I drop my pencil and I place a hand around his neck, pulling him closer. I lost control of my body and it has a mind of its own now, it was doing all of this and everything felt comfortable and right. After a few minutes we both pulled away, and his big blue eyes were starring at me. Those blue eyes that I always looked at and we're always looking at me. I felt a sudden tug inside me, a feeling I've never felt before. "I just really wanted to do that again." James licks his lips and smiles shyly. I can't help but smile back at him, my leg gently nudging his under the counter. "I liked it."