Monkee Bible

Love letters to The Monkees

I found theses a while ago and thought I'd share some of my favorite ones.  (All words that are italics and in parentheses are mine and not part of the letter.)

Dear Davy Jones,

I like your shows very much. I like all your songs too. I like all your clothes and your hair. You are very very cute.

You better come to Wichita or I'll smash you one.

Lover,

Carol K.

Wichita

(Alrighty then)

Dear Micky,

My name is Ruth. Even though I am only ten, I am a very loyal fan of the Monkees. I think you are the cutest and the funniest on the show. My father thinks you are funny, and so does my sister, my mother, and my grandfather. Everyone in my family is against long hair and boys except my sister and me.

My mother thinks you're Russian. She says she knew a man when she was in Russia who looked just like you. My sister says she knows a boy who looks just like you. But my grandfather thinks you are Polish. He thinks everyone's Polish. He acts very smart when your show comes on. He says all the Monkees are Polish and when we tell him they aren't he gets mad. Once he almost broke the TV screen, he was so sure the Monkees were Polish.

Please don't mind my grandfather, he's just a little off his rocker. All my relatives are. Except me and my sister.

Love and kisses,

Ruth W.

Biloxi, Miss.

(I was laughing so hard at this one I was choking)

Dear Mike,

Your fan magazine says that when you were in the Air Force you turned over a general's airplane once by accident. What I want to know is, how do you turn over an airplane? I mean, if you're flying it, that's one thing, but on the ground? And what do you say to a general when you just tipped over his plane? Is that why you're not in the Air Force anymore?

Your fan,

Denny S.

Peru, Ind.

(Denny is asking the real questions there, I'd love the story behind that.)

Dear Peter,

How are you, babes? (Did you really think I was going to say I love you and all that gush? Tsk-tsk.) I hope you don't make your first million before I get to Hollywood.

I think your show is just fab, but the writers don't give you big enough parts. And you always play the dumb one. I think you need a good public relations man to improve your image. It just so happens that my father is in the business, and I'll see if he can do anything for you. Let's get movin' Peter.

I know all your fans love you like crazy, but how many call you person to person from Boston? My girlfriend and I did, but the operator said she wasn't allowed to connect us. Now you see what kind of fans we are.

Well, that's about all for now. You can keep this letter, so if I become famous you will have my autograph.

Love, more or less,

Mardy E.

Boston.