awake

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it's 12:07 am and i am still awake. 

i want to sleep 

but there's this force 

making me not to.

my eyes are heavy 

and my mind is full 

and all i want to do 

is shut everything up

for a while 

but it is cruel,

so so cruel 

making me think 

of all the things i did 

with the thoughts and feelings 

i'm bottling up 

and things i do not want to even think. 

i am caught so caught

between the time and space 

and stars and moon

and ocean and rains 

and ashtray of thoughts all at once.

sometimes i prefer these monsters

to be under my bed

than them living

inside my head. 


- let me sleep.



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wrote this on my other account but also thought of posting it here. anyway, thank you SO MUCH for the reads votes and comments. they mean a lot to me, especially you guys too! thank you <3

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