A Little Unsteady (A Grey's Anatomy Story)

The Sun Doesn't Rise Without Her

A month sober

It's been a month since I last took a hit of morphine. It's been tough, but now I'm back at work and I'm finally getting things back on track. I am now a second year resident, although very much behind the others. But it was good to be back. It's also been a month since I heard from her. She stopped calling about a month ago and I haven't seen or heard from her since. Although I was glad she finally decided to move on, a part me still missed her a lot.

"Dr Quinn?" Derek's voice woke me from my thoughts

"Mhmm?" I mumbled distantly

"Are you scrubbing in with me or not?" He asked, humored

"Oh sorry Dr Shepherd, my thoughts are scattered today" I joked as I walked into the scrub station with him

"Something bothering you Dr Quinn?" He asked concerned

Derek of all people knew how hard these last few months have been since I lost Blake. He took me in and shared his home with me during my darkest moments, so he became concerned quite easily when it came to me.

"No sir, just one of those days" I smiled as I began washing my hands

"Well we've got a neurosarcoidosis for you to take your mind off things. Jenny in there has a rare form only found in 1% of cases. The sarcoidosis is only affecting her brain, usually it affects other organs too. So today I need to repair some of the damaged tissue in Jenny's brain and then start her on a course of imunosuppressants to counteract the disease" Derek informed me

He knew he could always distract me with big medical cases. He knew I much preferred baffling diseases than 'talking about your feelings' the way most people approach my situation.

We finished scrubbing in and made our way into the OR. We were gowned and gloved and ready to begin.

"Can I get a cranial bone saw please?" Derek asked one of the nurses

He began cutting into the skull and working on repairing the tissue damage in her brain. I was in awe every time I scrubbed in on one of Derek's surgeries. He worked so swiftly, yet so delicately and changed someones life in the process. Neuro was definitely a specialty I wanted to pursue and if Derek took me under his wing, I knew I could be just as good as him.

"Do you see this right here Dr Quinn?" Derek asked as he pointed to a spot on the woman's brain

"Is that the tissue damage?" I asked intrigued

"It sure is. Notice how the more damaged tissue is beginning to cause scarring on the nerves. Luckily we got this in time. Not only would Jenny have been suffering from her sarcoidosis, she would have also developed MS. But we can mend the tissue quite easily and soon enough she'll be back living a normal life, none the wiser" I could tell Derek was smiling behind his mask

"That's amazing Dr Shepherd" I said in awe

"So tell me Dr Quinn, what was troubling you earlier?" Derek asked as he began repairing the brain tissue

"Dr Shepherd can I ask you a question?" I asked swiftly in reply to his question

"Sure" he replied

"How did you know that Meredith was the one for you? I mean like, when you found her, how did you know that you'd never have to look for someone ever again?" I asked

"The beauty is, I didn't. I didn't know she was the one. When I first met Meredith I had just left my wife. Meredith was an intern and I was her boss. It should have never worked. But we fought through it. And I didn't know that I had stopped looking until one morning I woke up and she wasn't beside me. I was alone and I felt an uneasy emptiness, I never wanted to experience that again. I knew she was the one when I felt like the sun didn't rise in the morning unless she was beside me, and soon enough all I could see in my future was her. She was the one definite thing that was constant in my life" he replied passionately

I didn't know how to reply to what he had just said. But it made sense to me on every level.

"Why? Have you found someone Jamie?" he asked

"More like lost someone" I mumbled "I just wish I was as certain as you Derek" I sighed

"Go with your heart Jamie, it's rarely wrong" He replied wisely

***

The surgery was a success and I was soon finished my shift after finishing all of Derek's post ops. I made my way back to Meredith's and exhaustion soon took hold. I decided to make a cup of coffee and as I stood there waiting for the kettle to boil I heard someone burst through the front door.

"Sorry Meredith, I just passed by to see if Ja..." I heard a familiar voice come from the door, hustling and bustling with an arm load of bags, until she saw my face and dropped everything to the floor

"Jamie" she whispered

"Hi Arizona" I gave a small smile, I hadn't seen her in 3 months and she was still the most beautiful woman I had ever laid eyes on

"Sorry, I thought you were Meredith. I just came by to see if you were ok" she smiled

"You stopped calling" I said sadly

"You stopped caring" she replied, heartbroken

"Arizona" I whispered as I began walking down the hall towards her

She didn't move and all I could do was stand in front of her and look at her. I hesitantly reached out to place my palm on the side of her face as I caressed her cheek softly. She didn't move away, she simply closed her eyes and took a deep breath as she tried to savor the moment

"I'm so sorry" I whispered

"No don't, don't do this Jamie" Arizona said as she opened her eyes and placed her hand on mine "Don't blame yourself Jamie. I was the one.." she started but I swiftly interrupted by locking my lips with hers

"Don't.. you dare.. blame.. this on yourself" I mumbled between breathes as I pulled her body closer to mine

Arizona jumped into my arms as she wrapped her legs around my waist and deepened the kiss. I carried her into the kitchen where I placed her sitting on the counter top. I remained standing between her legs as I trailed my kisses down her neck until I reached the hem of her t-shirt. I stopped and looked up at her, watching as her eyes begged me not to stop. I removed her t-shirt and began kissing down her chest. I heard a slight moan escape her lips, something I hadn't heard in so long and it was like music to my ears.

"Jamie" she whispered breathlessly

"How about we take this upstairs" I said dangerously

"I thought you'd never ask" she whispered

*******

30 chapters already!!! Thanks so much to everyone whose reading. I hope you're all enjoying the story! Please leave a comment and let me know what you think