One Man's Heart But Another Man's Baby

Chapter twenty-four

The above picture is how I imagined the engagement ring would look
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Bay POV

I spent weeks after the news of his brother being my baby daddy, living in his house, sharing the same bed with him and pretending that I'm happy. Everyday it hurts me to see him hold my child because deep down, I'm afraid that he's going to hurt her so since the news have been given to me, I always keep a close eye on him when he's in the room.  He probably already suspected my weirdness because I myself know that I'm a horrible actress, but he hasn't said anything yet and I'm hoping he doesn't.

I still love him and I hate myself for that. Im hoping and praying that he is not involved because he's been really good to me.

"You can't stay in that house!", Glen said bringing me out of my running thoughts.

"But what am I going to do? I can't tell him about it", I said getting up for the remote.

"I don't care if he finds out Bay. We just need to get you and your daughter out of this house", she said and I lowered my head as I sat on the sofa.

"You need to tell him that your going to move in with me and he just has to understand that", she said than got up and walked towards the kitchen, not giving me a chance to give my own opinion.

If only it were that easy.

"I'll think about telling him today", I screamed in the air hoping that she heard me.

Tracey started crying because I was loud so I picked her up, rocking her over my right shoulder.

When she stopped crying, I kissed her forehead and layed her back down.

"You will always come first in my decision making", I said wiping saliva with a white baby cloth from the corner of her lips.

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I sat by the kitchen counter and just stared in space.

"How am i going to tell Toby?", I kept thinking over and over since Glen instructed me to move in with her.

I'm planning on telling him today when he gets home from the hotel. I told Glen to take Tracey home with her so that I can gather my thoughts without her crying and interrupting me.

I heard the door open and when I looked up I saw Toby walking in, closing the door behind him and walking towards me. He took off his suit and kissed me on the lips, but I didn't kiss him back.

"I can't take this anymore. What is going on Bay?", he asked leaning his elbow on the counter and looking straight at me.

"I'm going to be moving in with Glen", I said looking away from him because I was trying to avoid looking into his eyes, not wanting to see his reaction to this.

"You've been ignoring me for quite some time and without explanation, your telling me that your moving out. That doesn't make any sense. What about Tracey?!", he said raising his voice a little and at the same time trying to keep himself calm.

"What about her?", I asked.

"I want to be there when she's going to bed, when she cries out in the middle of the night and when she wakes up in the morning. How am I supposed to raise her when I'm not around?", he said and his face was getting a little red.

"I just can't be here Toby", I said getting up from where I was sitting.

"What have I done so wrong. You don't like living with me?", he asked with hurt in his eyes.

"No its not......", I was saying but than he cut me off before I can finish my sentence.

"Than what is it?, he asked raising his voice even higher with anger.

"I cant tell you anything right now", I said taking a step back away from him because I was getting scared.

"Please please tell me", he begged walking up to me, taking my hands in his and looking at me straight in the eye and I can see him trying to blink the tears away.

The hurt in his eyes was the worst thing I have ever seen.

"What's going on Bay?", he said wiping my right cheek and I didn't even notice that I was crying.

I held his hand on my cheek as he rubbed it with his thumb. I closed my eyes because I was loving the feeling of his touch.

"No nooo nooo!" I thought.

"They found evidence based on the case and ......your name is linked to it", I said with my voice cracking and more tears rolling from my eyes. I moved his hand from my cheek and look up at him again.

"I don't understand", he said with a confused look.

"You dont have to understand. I just cant risk putting Tracey in danger", I said folding my arms over my chest.

"So you think I'm going to hurt her?", he said in an angry tune which scared me a little.

"Let's just wait until the investigation is over", I said stretching my hands out in front of me trying to calm him.

"How long is this investigation going to be?", He asked putting his hands on his waist.

"I don't know but im guessing Its going to go on until they find the guy. Until than I can't be with you", I said lowering my head to hide my disappointment.

"But I love you Bay. I messed up once but I'm not going to do it again. You have to believe me", he said putting his hands on both sides of my shoulders.

"I want to believe you b-but I've got Tracey to think about now .... so I cant make choices based on me anymore, I have to make choices for me and her", I said trying to make him understand my point of view. He turned around, with his back now facing me. He lowered his head and rubbed his forehead.

"Do you really love me as much as you say you do?", I asked looking at his back.

"Yes of course and I tell you that every single day", he said turning around facing me again with watery eyes.

"Do you have any information about my rapist?", I asked.

"Noooo!!!", he said pointing his finger to himself and shaking his head.

"Than you have nothing to worry about! I just can't take any risk so you'll  just have to wait until I'm convinced", I said while wiping my own tears.

"After everything we've been through y-you actually think I'm lying?", he asked shaking his head left to right,

"I just don't know what to think Toby. If your telling me the truth and you love me, I'm hoping that you'll wait for me", I said putting my hand on my heart.

"Wow!" He said shaking his head and looking at the ceiling.

"No matter what happens Toby, I want you to know how grateful I am.....because at the end of it all..... I get to say that I knew what it's like to truly love someone", I said looking at him in the eye this time.

"Love? Ha!", He said sitting on the chair and laying his head in his hands to cover his face.

I looked at him with a confused look but I didn't want to talk about this topic any longer because it was upsetting me even more, so I said nothing. I started towards the door to go in the bedroom to pack up my belongings.

"Did you know that next week was going to be our one year anniversary", he said in a sad tune and I stopped walking.

"how can I ever forget", I said turning around facing him.

He reached into his pocket and took out a gold box. From the moment my eyes saw that box, I already knew what it was (girl's instinct). I took a step back shaking my head and tears rolling down my cheeks. I felt overwhelmed with the surprise and loved, but at the same time I felt sad because I know that it wouldn't be right for me to accept his proposal.