The Thirteenth And Fifth Letter

Grey Areas

When I found comfort, I was first introduced to Balance.

The White is as pure as one could be. She heals, loves, and cares. She is light and hope. The colors you see in the sky in a beautiful--even perfect day. She is as light as the sky. She's the one who sees the good in everyone. She's the one who sees the good in everything. The one who cries on the thought of millions of people suffering. She is willing to go to every possible way just to help. She is the one who'll do everything to know the right words to say to you. She is endless. She promises. She vows. She is safety. The one who hugs you tight to mend the broken pieces back together. Who thinks everyone is worthy and deserving. She is the dream. The Moon. The one that shine in a dark, lonely night.

The Black is as dark as every nightmare millions combined have. She is violent, brutal and careless. She is destruction and pain. She is the storm and the suffering. She colors the sky dark and makes the rain fall hard like it could pierce through everything it touches. She is the color you first see when you've lost hope. The one that breaks your heart to shreds and pieces. Who knows the words to destruct the only drop of your will to live. The Blackhole. The danger. She can make days feel like months. Weeks feel like years. Everything to make you suffer. She can pull everything you loved and crush it between her hands. She bends the rules. She is the feeling of being lost, empty, and envy. Her step instill terror and her smile means death.

At sight, you'd think that they won't stand with each other well. And it will surprise you when I say that they are sisters. Hate the light or hate the dark, once you removed one of them, balance will be off and hitting the ground.

Most of the times, the Black one is at the care of the White. The White telling her the consequences of her actions, letting her make choices and recite the possible results. She lets her do what she wants but sets her boundaries. She lights their way. And walks hand in hand. After all, she is shelter. The shield.

But at hideous times like this, when the Light is burning out. When the shelter is ruined. When her purpose is tampered... is when she cries. White rarely gets tainted. She stays by Black's time. Days into months, weeks into years. It felt like a long time since she was lost.

At times like this, when the candle is about to die, the hope is about to run out, and world starts to crumble... You know something is wrong. The endless is done. The most forgiving, most accepting, and most understanding is about to just give up.

This is the time she kneels and cries by herself because of the pain she accepted all those years. This is the time her vision becomes blurry and starts to ask what she did wrong. This is the time she questions why she was wanted when she will be hidden from in the end. This is the time she asks why...

Why would you do that?

Why would you beg and pray for her when you'll leave her once given a chance?

Why would you give her up from time to time?

Why would you make her feel underappreciated?

Why would you go so far away where she can't reach you?

Why would you tell her that is she is too much?

Why can she understand and accept everything you did yet it hurts?

Why is she hurting?

Why isn't it stopping?

Where are you?