But it's better if you do

9

Recap:

I know he wasn't okay but he tried. I kissed him for the last time but I know this is not the end of our love but the beginning.

Continued

A/N:

The video is basically the chapter of how hyuk became to love hongbin and the same for hongbin.
So watch that first then read the rest of this chapter.

A year and a half later:

Hyuk's P.O.V:

I was reflecting on mine and hongbin's past and I couldn't help but smile because we had loved each other and I wish things could have been different but they aren't and now we are here in life. VIXX still doing awesome everyone is okay n hyung & Leo hyung are together just like Ravi hyung & ken hyung also as for hongbin he moved on I know he could not wait forever and I didn't want him too and I am happy for him. He is with his costar (OC) and I am finally taking back my life and living, it is refreshing too feel this way, I haven't felt this way in forever. But the group in whole we are having a comeback and it is going to be exciting and so that is going on also me and sungjae are best friends again which makes me really happy and he is with peniel now so I am happy for them, he deserves to be happy, as for my love life it will be non-existent but sometimes I wish things could have worked out for me and hongbin because during this time of self-realization is that hongbin was always the one but it was too late. I was too late and I won't interfere in his love life again, if he wants to be with her then who am I to stop him from being happy, even if makes me unhappy, but love requires sacrifice and now it is my turn to pay it forward. I must give up hongbin for good, he deserves someone who is stable and who will love him and it is not me sadly, I see how happy he is with her and I think we could of had that but I messed that up. I can't take back what happened but I don't regret it either, I don't regret any of it I just hate how I hurt the two people that I love so much and I know I can't take that back, I sometimes wish this was all a dream like this had never happened like I got a second chance at life again. I would do it differently and I could change things but I believe I would only make that worse, I don't feel like screwing up someone life, not again.

I finally get to go back to the dorms today after staying for 6 months at rehab or mental facility for my self-harm, suicide, depression, A.D.D and I found out I am bipolar but it is not bad. I just learned how to deal with these things and try to move on instead of holding on to something I could never change, I was torturing myself, not anymore I moved on with my life and I am happy now. After so many years of pretending, I was tired of trying to be someone but in reality I am just still that same scared little kid, "so hyuk do you have any words to share with the group today" Claire the therapist of the ward asked "well I am happy to go and see the members and be with them because for the time I have been here they couldn't come a lot but I am excited to be with them again" I smiled "what are you going to do about Hongbin" one of the people in the group asked.

"Nothing I am going to move on, he has, so should I" I pulled at the sleeves of my cardigan "I can't hurt him again" I tried not to cry "I have to become more cautious of my own feelings and others I can't be selfish" I looked around the room "I can't keep wishing for things to be better I have to make it better for myself" I take a slow breath "if I keep holding on then coming here was a waste of time and energy" I start to pour my thoughts out "because I came here for help to let go of what has been keeping me back" I smiled "to what has been keeping me away from the world I haven't told anyone this not even sungjae but when I was in school, I was a freshman and there was this senior boy name taehyung (not bts V) but I had a crush on him, he was on the school's football team he was every girl's dream" just thinking about him made my skin crawl "well he started to talk to me and flirt, he was nice and said sweet things too me... he had made me feel safe" I started to cry "a month later he asked me out and of course I said yes because I had fallen for him but that night after going out we went to his house"