So we're in October. Been in school for almost 2 whole months. I hate it. I've become so mentally and physically drained. School does this. My thoughts do this. I can't stand it. I've become a failure. Failure echo's through my silence. I've talked my friends, my family, my crush, and everyone. I can't. I've become to disconnected. I've become someone I'm not. I'm a monster. A horrible monster. I did this and never meant to, it just kinda happened. Everyone says sleep that helps when you are tired. What they don't know is that I'm tired in a whole new way. Once you've failed people and yourself you get tired and many other things make it this way. I can't keep holding on much longer. Someone help me is all I can think. In actuality I really wanna be alone yet I don't want to be lonely. How have I become this disconnected. What has happened to me.. Failing has become a thing I'm good at. I can't keep good grades, I can't do anything. It sucks. I'm crashing and no one sees because I'm putting on a smile daily and showing everyone how "strong" I am. I'm actually weak. I'm not strong. My god what have I became. I'm just another monster. Cheers to senior year. The year that's supposed to be the best one of then all, yet its just like every single other one I've had except this one is getting worse and worse with every little thing that happens.
