The big nothing

4. Secrets in father's music room

Mother and father are gone for a few days.
Alice is keeping a secret for me, and a number saved in her phone.
The gentle tones of the piano kept coming to the music room more often.
More often than father, more often than father would like them there, more often combined with the sad tones that are his daughters fingers touching the cold ivory.
We spend our days locked up in the room and when we aren't there, we are in the garden. A place I used to love coming too. Back when I was able to navigate through it myself, I would be easily found there all the time. I used to paint and draw you know. I was supposed to make a name for myself with that, but that won't do now. Now the frame of me getting a name for myself has gotten abnormally small for my age. It's sad how I tend to always end up with those things in my mind instead of joyful things that I can do.
I can hold Alex's hand and he can lead me through the garden, he can guide my hands to the flowers so that I can feel their beauty, he can bring me to the pont and dip my fingers in the cold water that is - oh so - different from the water that is held captive in the bathtub.
The second day, I made a discovery. A happy discovery.
'Alex?' I asked as he lead me through the garden once again.
'Yes,' Alex is one of the little people who learned that you should always talk to me, no matter what. I have never been one to read people well and now that my sight is gone it's even worse. Some people respons with "hm" or something like that. I don't understand it. It sounds like you are surprised that I know your name.
'I realized something.'
'Okay, what is it?' I stop walking and I know that, when I do that, he will move in front of me and look into my eyes. He told me yesterday that my eyes always look forwards, so I should just point my face in the direction of his voice and I am looking at him.
'You are my eyes.' I hear a little gasp. The same one I heard when we sat at the piano together for the first time. Again I hear the plastic bottle. Why won't he tell me?
'I am proud to be your eyes.' Though I am suspicious of his inability, I still smile. He always makes me smile. I honestly think that I have smiled more in these past one and a half week than I have in four years.
'Tomorrow,' I pauze and search for his other hand. I feel like I'm trying to grasp air, but he quickly notices and never leaves me hanging, 'Alice told me my birthday is tomorrow. I will be 20 and mother and father won't be there to celebrate with me. I asked Alice to call them and she said they couldn't make it. Knowing my parents, they won't go out of their way to get here tomorrow. So I would kindly ask you if you'd like to come spend the day with me tomorrow.' I feel tears well up in my eyes. I've never been so nervous to ask someone something, but Alex is just different. He's the first person who has talked to me as if I'm a human instead of someone who is incapable of things, a decoration.
'Of course I'll come, I wouldn't want to be anywhere else.' I know he speaks the truth. You can hear voices tremble when they lie. I have never heard one single lie from Alex's mouth. Okay, one. That one time he said that his inability was nothing when we first met at the piano. His voice trembled, but he was smiling. Never did I ever imagine I would get so worried over someone else. So worried that I'd forget my own suffering and pain.
Is this what they call love?
'Don't write me a birthday card,' I say with a smile, 'or you'll have to read it to me.'

+

The familiar squeak of the front door makes me stand up quickly. He's here. He actually came. His familiar footsteps tick on the floor and makes my smile get brighter every. Single. Step.
'Happy birthday Olivia,' his happy voice says and from the crumbling I can tell that he brought something.
'Thank you so much.'
'I didn't know what you wanted to have for your birthday, so I got you something that I think you'll like.' He hands over something. 'Oh, sorry, I'll help you unwrap it.' His hands gently grab mine and guide them to open the gift.
'You didn't have to bring a present,' I say, still smiling brightly.

+

'But I wanted to, it's opened,' he says and his hands guide me over the present, 'it's a 3D picture. So this is a three, you can feel the wood and this is the grass and the water, the bright sky.' Tears well up in my eyes as the picture starts to come together in my head. The colors are so beautiful, the picture so perfect. Suddenly I get to something unknown and my fingers stop.
'What is this?' I hear Alex swallow.
'That is me,' His hand grabs mine again, 'and that is you. It's a picture I asked Alice to take when we were walking in the garden.' I feel a tear roll onto my cheek.
'Alex, I-' I can't talk. This is getting too much for me. He thinks about me so much. He cares too damn much. My feelings are all over the place and so is my mind. Nothing is right anymore. Nothing is normal. 'Thank you so much,' I manage to say before having to dig my face in my hands to hide my crying. He moves and sits down next to me on the couch. His arm wraps around me as he tries to comfort me.
'You told me I was your eyes and I want to live up to that title,' he tells me, 'so I am trying to help you get your sight back.' I face him and smile.
'Ask Alice to bring us to the basement.'

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