Modified Hetalia ~My Alternate Universe~

~Introduction to the Lovely Characters~

( okay without these brief little paragraphs, people would be soooo confused so this is for your own good. okay? okay.  omg stop flirting with me just read the god damned thing >//< )

Russia- Heehee...Russia is portrayed as a sexy cannibalistic robot doctor that if very fond of a certain pianist, to which marks as his after falling in love with him.  Maybe classified as a necrophiliac or some kinky shitu like that.  Oh, Russia's voice sounds auto tuned. ;)

Austria- Slave to the Russia booty.

Romano- Romano is a smol emo sinnamin roll.  Very tsundere, so baka.  Despite his firey spirit, he has a soft spot for his brother Italy.  Yes.  There is that good itacest for you young teens out there.  Romano lives with Italy and Spain, which is very interesting and that pretty much explains why by itself.  

Italy-  Before we get into anything, please for the love of god, call him "Italia" instead because it is cuter.  He only goes by "Italy" when he's been naughty. *wink*  This Italian twink is on the aesthetic trash side of tumblr.  That probably explains why no matter the weather, he only wears fishnet long sleeve shirts and ripped skinny jeans. (gaaaaay)

Spain- Spain, a.k.a. Romano's sugar daddy.  He really does deserve more respect than what he gets, especially since not only does he have to get the twins sex toys from Spencer's, he has to hear what goes on in the room next to his...you know what I mean?  But since he is reminded that he will be forever alone each time they get rowdy at 3 a.m. which always tends to wake Spain up, he has nothing better to do than watch free heterosexual porn with his pet turtle, Ricky.  He's a chill turtle, understanding and never shames the sad, lonely Spain.  He also always closes his eyes whenever Spain listens to Britney Spears because that's when he starts sexy dancing and "feelin' myself" turns into "fucking myself".  Spain is quite happy though.  None of this affects him, but he doesn't like loose blueberry pie scented condoms just randomly scattered across the house.

Germany- Germany is a former circus man.  He has pink and blue pastel hair that looks like swirled cotton candy sometimes.  Must I add that he is the definition of "buff and beautiful"?  He's also quite large. *cough cough* and LARGE, which is why he knows he probably won't ever have a one night stand with Italy...don't want a ripped asshole. Oh yeah, this doitsu is about that BDSM life.  Whips, chains, and latex, all of it makes him excited.  

Prussia- Before I go into any detail, Prussia has pink eyes and his mouth is stitched up... sooo no obnoxious dweeb.  Sorry Prussia fans. :) I'm not sorry.  He takes it up the butt from Germany since that's all he can get and hey, a brother needs some dick in his life.

France- Dude looks like he got left in the 90's.  Anywhore, guy listens to Portishead while he touches himself after drinking a whole bottle of wine and stalking a hot European male model on social media then passes out on the couch because he smells like the inside of a hooker's mouth. Oh, his bed is decorated in condoms.

England- England is a sexy European male model.  Lets be honest, he thicc.  He tours around with his photographer Japan, who should not be trusted with a camera for the sake of pantsu shots.  But this isn't about him.  England is mostly famous for his leaked nudes which one contained a picture of him as a hot nurse.  10 out of 10, would fuck again.

Japan- World famous male model photographer. {I bet I can fix this later.}

America- America is just some hot gay guy that was instagram famous and tries to have his own aesthetic but fails so he just copies his good friend, Japan. Rumor has it that he fucks an illegal alien hidden from the CIA by the name of Tony.

Canada- New phone, who dis? Okay but for real though.  Canada is Canada but the embodiment of a strong independent black woman who don't need no man.

China- Custom ordered Hello Kitty merchandise. {Will also fix this.}