I Never Planned On This (Jaime Preciado love story) (COMPLETED)

But I Don't See Your Face

   "Don't you see, don't you see? I'm past it, over you, gone on down my lonely road," I sing into the mic, moving my arm back and forth above my head, the majority of the crowd doing it with me. My eyes roam over the crowd, taking in their exuberant faces. Until I spot someone that I thought I'd never see here. It was him, it was Alex.

   I falter in the middle of the chorus, but quickly avert my gaze from his familiar face, jumping back into the song. "I know I'm on my own, but it doesn't bother me, what bothers me is the past. the past that I'm ashamed of,"

   I'd actually written this song about him, and here he was, watching me perform it. Whenever I imagined this happening, I was always laughing and on top of the world.. instead, I felt like crying.

   Soon I finish the song, brushing my white blonde hair out of my face. "This next song.. you should all know. Its called Follower!"

   I couldn't finish the set soon enough. Alex had since disappeared, and I was left with doubt to whether or not he'd even been there at all. It'd put me off, and I hoped that the fans couldn't tell. I set the mic down, wandering backstage.

   "Ror, what's wrong? You look like you've seen a ghost," Eric jokes and I force a smile onto my face, sticking my tongue out at him.

   "C'mon, we need to get to the signing," Jae says, grabbing me by my arm and whisking me off in the direction of our merch tent.

   There was already a crowd, and we worked our way along the edge of it, politely signing a few things for fans who would obviously have had to wait for a while before they got to the front.

   "Here we go," Dylon says brightly, plopping down in his seat beside me. I nod distantly, still stuck on seeing Alex. Was it real? Or was I imagining things? It was really hot today..

   I mentally shake my head to myself and pick up my sharpie, smiling at the short haired girl who walked up, nodding as she said she was a huge fan. "Thank you so much for coming out, it means the world to us," I reply, signing her CD and standing to lean across the table and wrap my arms around her in a hug, the poor girl seemed close to tears.

   Emotional fans always made me uncomfortable. I loved to be able to help them through things just with the music, but I could barely handle my own situations, let alone someone else's. Luckily, she soon calms down, moving on down the table to the rest of the band.

   I freeze when my bright blue eyes land on whose next in line. His arm was around her waist, and a smug expression on her face. "Alex," I mumble, nodding my head to him.

   "Don't talk to him," the blonde snaps, glaring at me. "You're such an emo bitch, you know that? I bet you're only with that mexican because you put out," she continues, chuckling.

   "You know, I don't give a single fuck about what you have to say. I've moved on, so he should, too," I reply, my voice cold and unemotional. I felt like if I got angry or anything, I'd cry. And I didn't want to give either of them the satisfaction of seeing me cry.

   "Oh, he has," the sneers, looking over at him and kissing his cheek.

   "Then why are you here?" I counter, and they both look at me. They clearly hadn't seen that one coming.

   "Fuck you, you slut," the blonde hisses before tugging Alex away from the table.

   "Ror.. you okay?" Jae's voice is soft, almost a coo. I'd almost forgotten that they were there, that everyone had just watched that scene play out. I nod silently, not trusting my voice. I look at the fan that was next in line, plastering a smile onto my face. I almost felt bad for the fans that came up, I wasn't my normal, bubbly self.

   After what seemed like an eternity, the fans were all gone and I get to my feet, ignoring my bandmates' expressions of concern. I walk out from the merch tent, in the direction of the buses. A few fans stop me and I politely take pictures with them, even signing a few shirts.

   I quickly change into my pajamas once I'm on the bus and climb into my bunk, setting my iPod on shuffle. I stare at my phone, at the texts from Jaime that I hadn't replied to. Jae had probably already told him what had went on, and I didn't want to leave him in the dark..

   I hold my phone up to my ear, biting my lower lip as I listen to it ring.

   "Hello?" his voice was low, sleepy. I hadn't even realized that it was close to midnight.

   "Hey, I.. I'm sorry for calling so late, but, I," I stutter, my voice breaking.

   "Its fine, Ror, you know I'd do anything to help you," Jaime replies, and I nod even though he can't see me.

   "Thank you.. so much, you have no clue what that means to me.. its just that, Alex.. he. He'd cheated on me, multiple times before I finally found out. Turns out, it wasn't that big of a secret, I was just blind.." I rush, trying to get the story out before I made myself stop. "Seeing him.. it opened up that wound all over again,"

   "Ror.. I'm so sorry, do, do you want me to come over?"

   "No.. no, I'm fine. Listen, I'll see you tomorrow, we both need to sleep," I say, hanging up without giving him a chance to respond. Today had made me realize something.. I wasn't 'over' Alex like I thought I was.