Everything I Want

Chapter 3

WARNING: THE FOLLOWING CHAPTER CONTAINS ALITTLE BIT OF SELF-HARM AND MAY BE SELF TRIGGERING. PLEASE DON'T LET THIS TO ENCOURAGE YOU THAT SELF HARM IS OK IF YOU NEED TO TALK PLEASE MESSAGE OR KIK ME (@bidany13) THANKS FOR READING :) (Oh and if you want to just skip it scroll until it says end of flashback)

*Flashback*

"YOU TOLD ME YOU WERE JUST GOING TO EAT AT A RESTAURANT! NOT GO TO A FUCKING STRIP CLUB!"

" SO? WHY DOES IT MATTER WHERE I'M AT HUH?"

There they go again fighting just like last night and the night before that and before that. They've been fighting a lot lately and I don't understand why? They were perfectly fine before our vacation and now all I hear them do is fight. It's 11 pm and I'm supposed to be asleep since I have school tomorrow but I can't sleep with all the yelling going on downstairs. It's scary hearing them yell like that it's like they are about to kill each other. But that's not the scariest part, the scariest part is thought of my family no longer being the loving group I always described them as and it just pains me so much, to think it might actually happen. I don't know how much more of these nights of them yelling at each other I can take before I do something!

"WHAT DOES IT MATTER?? WE ARE MARRIED FOR GOD SAKE'S YOU TOOK A VOW NEVER TO LIE TO ME LIKE THIS!" He didn't respond "If we don't have trust ,one of the main things we are supposed to have as a married couple then why even be married? You ass!"

"YOU WANT A DIVORCE? FINE! GO AHEAD GET THE PAPERS AND TAKE ME TO COURT AND TAKE ALL MY MONEY CAUSE ANYTHING WOULD BE BETTER THAN BEING MARRIED TO YOU AND YOUR CLINGY SELF!" he yells back at her. I can't believe he just said that to her, I've never heard him say something like that to her ... ever

"CLINGY? REALLY? WOULD A CLINGY PERSON LET YOU GO ON ROAD TRIPS WITH YOUR FRIENDS AND NEVER ONCE CALL? HUH?"

" THAT'S NOT THE POINT"

"THEN WHAT IS THE POINT ARNOLD? JUST SAY IT SO I CAN SEE WHAT I DID WRONG"

"WHATEVER, I DON'T EVEN LOVE YOU ANYMORE AND I HAVEN'T IN A REALLY LONG TIME!"

" what?" I hear her voice crack making it obvious she was about to cry.

"I only stayed this long for the sake of the kids" he says making my heart break right on the stairs where I was listening to their argument from

"So all those 'I love you's' and ' I don't know what I do with out you babe' were all just fake"

"yes that's exactly right" he coldly responds

" so what now do we just pretend to be happy for the sake of the kids?" She asks,

" No I think we should separate for a while and see how it goes"

"ok, but should we tell the kids?"

" I think they are old enough to hear the truth but lets tell them gently and softly so we don't completely ruin them" I can't believe what I'm hearing is this really happening? Or I'm I just sleeping? This can't be happening my dad couldn't have faked all of that. He would have to be a hell of an actor to do that and he can barely try to act like me when he's mocking me. Clearly this can't be right

I start to hear my mother sobbing clearly upset of what my dad had just told her. Heck I would be too but as I hear her sob more and more tears start rolling down my checks. So I guess this is it my perfect family is going to get split up. Why does this have to happen to us? We were perfectly fine until Sydney.

After all that thinking, I had heard enough. ' I Can't do this I thought to myself' So I ran to the bathroom and got the sharpest object I could find since I'm am desperate for the pain right now and as soon as I found something really Sharp and easy to cut with I slashed it against the skin of my wrist and kept doing it again and again. After about 20 cuts I had gotten a Little dizzy and I realized I need to stop before my parents come find me passed out and have to take me to the hospital and I don't want them to have to worry about that stuff even though I wanted to keep doing it I need to stop. After putting away what seemed to be some nail clipper from the floor I walked in pain to wash the cuts which hurt like hell!