Lennon.
“There is no living thing that is not afraid when it faces danger. The true courage is in facing danger when you are afraid.”
The walk towards the kitchen was different. The blood pumping through my ears silenced everything happening around me. Harry could have been speaking but I couldn’t tell. My heart was hitting my ribcage with a painful force. My limbs were shaking and my skin was beginning to feel sweaty.
The first thought I had was, ‘what am I doing?’ Several weeks ago I would do anything to survive, I swore I would never face death and yet I was readying myself to stare death in the eye like an old friend. But weeks ago I didn’t realise how bad things were. Nothing would be resolved, it would only get worse until the ‘attack’ happened. It didn’t take away the fear one bit, I knew this could all end in the worst possible way.
I wasn’t naïve in the whole situation, I knew the boys could handle this on their own. Was I stupid for throwing myself onto the battlefield as per say? No unless you determine trying to save the lives of other human beings stupid, than I am an idiot, otherwise I pride myself in my courage. I was just a baker girl and now I’m turning into some assassin wannabe. It excited me a little because this was an adventure, I wouldn’t want to do it again and it wasn’t fun, but the adrenaline made it slightly bearable.
A year ago I saw London as the city that is full of screaming children, business entrepreneurs and wannabe boy band members. All I saw now however was a dark place that captures your emotions and twists them until you’re suffocating in madness. I knew there were gangs but not to this extent. I thought they’d have records in petty crimes, but they didn’t have a scratch on criminal records because not even the police force could tame them. The city was run by killing machines, there were rules and boundaries and once you’re sucked in, there’s no escape, unless you were a coward. You can’t run forever though, one day it will catch up on you, you can’t hide from fear.
But not everything was bad in the situation. I was far from happy, my mind couldn’t fathom everything that had happened. I’d been kidnapped, left for dead once already and rejected several times, but I was still standing and that’s a lot more than I could ask for. Their hard exteriors were just masks of their real identities, Harry could kill a man with his fist but caress you with it hours later. Nothing in life was ever normal, nothing was typical, this life was far from unordinary.
The kitchen was spilling at the seams with people. Harry latched his hand tightly around my wrist and led me through the crowd of unfamiliar faces. He didn’t speak to them only acknowledging them with a simple nod. I saw Paul surrounded by the ones I knew and a few I didn’t. They had maps spread across the table, Zayn’s laptop in the middle of the mess.
“To stop a fire burning you have to eliminate the source.”
“What?” Zayn looked at Harry as if he was speaking a different language, a familiar look was shared by the rest of the men as well.
“We take out Sykes before the fight even begins.” Harry confirmed.
“They’ll be suspecting it.” Paul interjected as he leant back on his bar stool and rested his hands behind his head.
“They’ll be suspecting and preparing for anything and everything.” Silence followed Harry’s reply when everyone appeared to realise that what he had said was completely true.
“So no small attack to leer him from his hideaway?” Niall questioned.
“No. We pull him out with the one thing he wants.”
