Warning: negative self-image, eating disorder, DO NOT TAKE ANY INSULTS OR ANYTHING PERSONAL
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To your satisfaction you finally were on your way back home to the bunker. The hunt went okay. You killed every monster but you got hurt yourself. But that was nothing you couldn't take care of.
"Are you alright?" Dean asked, as he glanced at you through the rear-view mirror.
"I'm good." You lied. The pain was horrible. There were only a few cuts covering your body but they were deeper than usualy.
"I'll help you stitching your wounds." He said actually not wanting an answer from you.
"I'll do it myself. You should take care of Sam and get something to eat afterwards. I'll be fine." You didn't want Dean to patch you up. He was your boyfriend but he never saw you naked or without pants and a shirt or sweater before and you didn't want him to see you like that.
You thought he would only hate and leave you if he saw what was behind the covers. At high school you were bullied. People started calling you fat for fun. First you tried to ignore them but time after time, you started hating what you saw in the mirror. You saw fat and only fat and you wanted to get rid of it as good as possible. So you've stopped eating. If you ate it was once a day and it wasn't even a lot. And if you had to eat more you pushed your finger into your throat and threw up, making the food leave your body as soon as possible. To your happiness you had lost weight very easily. Soon your legs and arms were sticks and your thorax was showing, every single rip was showing. But even when you looked like that, people called you fat until one day you collapsed and were sent to hospital and later into therapy. You hated it. You hated that people wanted to get into your head and tell you to eat. Every time you had to eat something you wanted to throw up. Get everything out of your system.
Now you didn't have a eating disorder anymore but after your therapy you still didn't gain a lot of weight. It wasn't that you had eaten to little because you sure eat a hell lot of things but your metabolism just didn't work the way it should. You weren't as thin as you were back at high school but your thorax was still showing. Your legs and arms weren't that sticky thin anymore luckily. But still the Winchester's never really noticed. After all you still weren't confident with your body. Your boobs were too small, your butt was too flat and not to talk about your other body parts. The only good features about you were your hair and your eyes, you thought.
Dean didn't say anything to you wanting to take care of your own. He dropped it for now but you knew he'd come back to it when you arrived at the bunker. You weren't the only one injured though. Sam was groaning in pain in the front. He was more important than you, through everything Dean should never choose you over his brother. And you tried to show him that often enough. But still he'd taken care of you before Sam multiple times.
You were about to head to your room as Dean's voice called for you.
"I'll get to you asap and help you stitch you up." He said practically staring at you.
"I can take care of my own. Just patch up Sam okay? I will be fine and he's doing worse than me." You said before you just left into your room. You decided not to lock your room because you actually hoped that Dean would simply leave you alone. You had your own first aid kid and it was in your night stand luckily, so you didn't have to ask Dean to get it because usually they put theirs somewhere you didn't know. Slowly you sat down onto your bed, as your door opened and Dean walked in.
"Dean just go-" You couldn't even finish your sentence.
"Shut up and let me help you." He interrupted you.
"Watch your mouth, Winchester." You crossed your arms in front of your chest and stared at him, while he was coming closer.
"Why don't you want me to help you? What is it?" He grabbed the bottom of your shirt but you tried to push his hands away.
"Dean, just leave it." You still tried to push him off of you but he was too strong and soon he had your shirt pulled over your head. As your upper body was exposed to him you felt your self-confidence drop immediately. You couldn't even give Dean a look and so you were facing the ground. You felt his eyes burn on your body and you wished you could just disappear.
"(YN).. Do you.. Do you have.." Dean couldn't even finish his question, he was obviously in shock.
"Not anymore. Just stayed like this for the last years." You murmured, still sure he heard it.
"Why didn't you tell me?" Dean's voice was soft, nearly breaking.
"Because now you probably hate me. I've got nothing you could love about me. My boobs are too small, my ass is too flat, I look like a stick and now you're probably afraid to even touch me because you think you could break me. I'm just not the type guys want." You sighed and felt a tear rolling down your cheek.
"Is that what you think, I would ever dare to think about you? Are you serious?" Dean asked, anger was filling his voice now. You only shrugged and still avoided to look at him.
"(YN), damn it (YN)! I would never think of you like not enough. You are everything I could wish for. I don't care if you are small or huge, you love me and you stay with me. Other people would've left me as soon as they found out about me and my life but you stayed all along. You stayed even when I was at my worst, when I was near dying and no one saw a light, you saw it. You know how to fix situation. You are able to think about solutions, no one else would've thought of. Damn (YN), you are the best thing gifted to me and I would never leave you for anyone if you'd think that." He took a deep breath and you finally got yourself to look at him.
"I love your body, okay? I don't care if your boobs are small. They are perfect. Your butt is perfect. Your whole body is." While he talked he kissed your boobs, and squeezed your butt a little, as he mentioned it. His hands ran up and down your waist and pulled you close.
"We just have to figure something out, to get you fit. You are easier to get hurt when you're a lightweight. But we will find something okay?" He whispered, as he rested his forehead against yours.
"Dean, I tried so many things already but there's nothing changing about my body." You smiled a little. Even though your messed up situation, Dean loved you and he was there for you, even though you never thought he would.
"I love you, (YN). Your body-size doesn't matter to me, in my eyes your perfect and we will get through this." He gently pressed his lips against yours.
"I love you, too Dean." You whispered and you pulled away a little.
YOU ARE READING
Dean x Reader OneShots
FanfictionThis is a collection of Dean Oneshots. They go from Fluff to angst to smut. I will try putting warning to each one! Note: Those will all be copied from my tumblr faith-in-dean.tumblr.com !