Hello, mortals. The Lady Renner has asked me, Thor, to fill in for her this month.
First, she would like to dispel rumors that Scarlett Johansson, who many of you know as the Black Widow, is going to have her own movie. This is ludicrous and absurd and based on an off-hand comment by the mortal you all call Kevin Feige. Not that it couldn't happen and that it isn't, but Renner says the probability of this is unlikely. It makes me want to smack something with Mjolnir.
Second, filming for Avengers 2 started two days ago. That is why I am here, you see. Renner is so excited she can barely stand, let alone walk to her computer and type this notice to you mortals.
Two point five (this occurred to her after the article was finished), Paul Bettany, aka the voice of JARVIS, has been cast as VISION IN AVENGERS 2!!!!!!!!! She was very excited about this and quite frankly it was scarier than Loki's illusions. She says that this is proof that JARVIS does have something to do with Ultron, the movie's villain. You are encouraged to read up on both him and Vision, as she will be fangirling about them a lot. Please don't make her go into fangirl mode. It's scary.
Third, she would like me to talk about the biggest "oh shit" moment of The Avengers, which she feels is the first end credits scene of The Avengers. Do you know what death is, mortals? Obviously, it's where you fall in battle and go to Valhalla, but Thanos is in love with it. He doesn't want to die, but he is obsessed with watching death happen. It is a romantic love interest for him. He literally wants to marry death and impregnate her, if you know what I mean. So when Chthon (the hooded guy) says "To challenge them is to court death," Thanos smiles because he knows that in trying to fight the humans, he is going on a date with death. Creepy, right? I think I shall stick with Jane for now.
Fourth, she has asked me to talk about her OTP, which happens to be Captasha. Apparently they get together in your picture books and she wishes they would get together on the place of recorded theater. I do not understand the way it works, but it is amusing. Unless I am watching Vikings on the channel of history and someone does something stupid. Also Game of Thrones. And Monty Python and the Search for the Holy Grail. I like those.
~Thor (also known as Renner_Addict135)
