~~~Jax~~~
After Dean kissed me I broke down, "Please I can't be there for you and even if I could you deserve so much more" I sobbed.
"Don't you dare push me away Jax... Please don't" he said with tears in his eyes.
"I'm scared of letting you down...or that you'll want to be with someone else" I choked out crying uncontrollably.
He held me to his heart that was beating loud. "I don't want anyone else" he said quietly. I just sobbed uncontrollably until I fell asleep to his heartbeat.
~~~Dean~~~
He finally fell asleep, I needed to bring him to bed. I got up and went to Sam's room where Isaboe and him were. Sam had a smile on his face until he saw Jax. I put Jax down in his bed before turning back to Sam. He looked at me and I motioned for him and Isaboe to follow me.
"What did you do!" Sam whisper-yelled.
I started to have tears come down my face, "He's scared I'll get tired of him and find someone else if we go any further" I chocked out. "He doesn't think he is good enough for me and that he can't take care of me!" I said as Isaboe hugged me.
"He is just scared...I never saw you look at anyone like you looked at him" Sam said before looking back at his room. We walked back into his room to see that Jax wasn't in his bed anymore. We heard water running and than the most angelic voice start to sing.
Once he finished I started to cry my eyes out and that is when I heard him say my name.
~~~Jax~~~
I woke up in my bed to the sound of crying. I wanted to take a shower to clear my head. I felt the ground shake and thought someone walked down the hall and I started to sing one of my favorite songs. When I finished the song I got out of the shower and slid into my pj's when I heard the crying again much louder.
I ran out to my balcony and yelled, "Dean?"
He lifted his head from his hands and his face is tears stained. I looked and saw Sam and Isaboe with tears in their eyes.
"Oh god no...You weren't suppose to hear that I cried before running back into my house and hiding under bed until I cried myself to sleep.
I woke up in the middle of the night and went to my desk. I needed to get my emotions out before I hurt myself or worse someone I love. After I finished writing it I thought I would use it for school since none of them are in my writing class. I put the poem in my backpack before going into bed and falling back asleep.
+++The Next Morning+++
I woke up to Sam rocking me and calling my name. I couldn't look at him so I kept my head down. We ate breakfast and he drove me to school. When we got there my eyes almost rolled out of my head. I looked at the giant poster and to Sam.
"There is a poetry slam?" I asked.
"Yeah everyone in writing is participating" he said.
"And no one wanted to tell me!"
He looked at me, "No one told you?"
"Yea no one told me and the only poem I brought today...OH GOD NO" I said petrified.
"Look you'll be great I have heard some of them before...I'll be rooting for you in the audience"
"What audience!"
He looked at me and mumbled, "the whole school"
I just froze and felt dead for first and second period. At lunch I asked Sam if I could stay in his front pocket because I didn't want to eat. He looked worried and nodded. Than third period came and we all went to the auditorium. I saw Dean in the crowd and our eyes connected until I looked away.
The first half was good....Well I enjoyed all of it except for the constant stare of Dean. The fourth period bell came and went and I wasn't paying attention until I heard, "Jackson Mench." I felt like I was going to die when I walked up to the podium and everyone's eyes locked onto me. I sighed clearing my mind and started my poem;
Those eyes
Those eyes that light up my world.
The way that your smile breaks me and puts me together.
You don't even know what you have done to me.
I feel like you need more than I can give.
Those eyes that haunt my dreams
That laugh that shakes my world
And the humor that consumes me
I need to hold on like I'm going to loose you.
Just than Dean stands up and starts to make his way to the stage.
Those eyes that gave me hope of tomorrow.
I won't be the one to take you down with me.
I don't know how to feel besides happy
I won't take it back
Those eyes that protect me
I feel the drowning lust in them
I feel those eyes in my soul
And I love you and those eyes
I finish and run off of the stage hearing clapping in the background. I run out the auditorium and into the human hallway where I hid and cried my eyes out. I feel the floor start shake and started to run again. I see the door that leads out of the school but, they are on the other side of the giant hallway.
I take a chance and run through it only to be plucked up halfway there. "Don't run from me Jax" Dean's voice booms.
"I can't Dean!" I cry out. "I can't give you want you need so please stop...I love you too much"
I hear him cry, "And I love you too so don't run away and lock me out"
I hug his hand, "please don't leave me"
"I don't dream on leaving you Jax"
"I'm scared" I say quietly.
"Me too" was all he said before he slides down the wall and onto the floor.
"So, why does the big bad boy and quarterback want me so badly" I joked trying to lighten the mood.
"Because he loves your sense of humor and personality. Plus his mother took care of you growing up" he joked back. My phone starts to ring and I answer it,
"Jax, are you ok?"
"Yeah I'm talking with Dean I'll meet you at your car in five minutes ok?"
"Alright"
Than the line went dead and I looked up at Dean. He smiled at me and asked,
"So do you want to go out again?"
"Again? we didn't go out once"
"The movie night Jax"
I smiled at the memory, "I'd love to but don't put me in your mouth again...Ok?"
He just smirked down at me, "I make no promises baby you tasted good" and we both started to laugh at his stupid comment. "Since its Friday I'll pick you up at five" he said getting up with me in his hand.
He started to walk outside to Sam's carwhen the bell rang, "How's dinner and a movie sound?" he asked as we got to Sam's car where Isaboe takes me.
"That sounds great, Sweetie" I said with a wink as Isaboe got in the car.
A/N: Awe they are finally going to get an actual date night :)
