Why Me?

Chapter 25 The End?

Author's Note: Ok you guys are going to hate me, like a lot. But it had to be done. No matter how much you hate me though please comment and vote. 

Evangeline

     I stayed out in the snow with Beckett for a while until Aunt Cecilia picked us up in the truck. First she dropped Beckett off at his house. We didn’t say goodbye to each other because it was too painful; we’d already did that in the snow. The ride home was grueling. Aunt Cecilia and I just sat in silence. I looked out my window and watched as all the trees passed by. They were beautiful; their dark green branches blended perfectly with the white snow. I use to always wish for a relationship like the one in my novels. Now though, I just wished I was anything but myself.

     When we reached the house, Rick was gone; his car wasn’t in the drive way. Everything was in slow motion as if I was in a movie. As I got out of the truck I looked up at the sky. Even the snowflakes seemed to fall slower. Walking up to the house was agonizing. Every step I took was heavy and full of memories. Flashbacks filled my head; all these happy memories floated around in my mind. They all involved Beckett.

     Aunt Cecilia unlocked the door and all I saw was a trashed living room with a crying Lisa in the middle. When she heard us walk in, she looked up and her sadness turned into anger.

     “You little bitch, look what you’ve done!” she screamed. “Are you happy with yourself? You ruined everything.”

     “I didn’t ruin shit!” I screamed. I was done with this. She wasn’t going to do this to me anymore. I had nothing left to lose.

     “Don’t you raise your,” she began but I cut her off.

     “I will raise my voice when I want from now on! Now I didn’t ruin anything! I was with Beckett first and you know that! You just always have to ruin everyone else happiness and I’m sick of it! You’re a selfish son of a bitching whore!” I screamed. I felt my face getting hot. But I couldn’t stop, not now at least.

     “How dare you!” she said as she stood up. Then she began to advance towards me. I looked around for anything I could use to defend myself. Then at the last possible second I saw one of aunt Cecilia’s clay pots on a side table. I picked it up and right before Lisa could touch me, I smashed the pot over her head. She shrieked as she fell to the floor.

     “And from now on you will not lay a finger on me!” I cried. I used the rest of my anger to kick and scratch at Lisa. The whole time I did this, Aunt Cecilia just stood by and watched. When I ran out of energy I stopped and stood over her. I looked down at her broken frame. Blood was coming out of her nose and bruises began to form all over her body.

     I bent down next to her and whispered into her ear, “How does it feel?” Then I stood up straight and went up to my bedroom. I didn’t look at Aunt Cecilia and I didn’t look back at Lisa. Once in my room, I pulled over a chair and stuck it under my door handle. “I need a lock.” I thought to myself. When I secured it, I walked over to my bed and lay down. I tried to fall asleep but it was no use; I kept hearing things. The wind blowing, a tree’s branches scrapping up against the side of the house, Lisa’s sobs. All of these noises made it impossible to sleep. So instead I turned off my light and stared up at the dark celling.

     “What happens now?” I asked myself as a tear rolled down my cheek.

~~~~~~~~~~*~~~~~~~~~~

     After Christmas vacation, all hell broke loose at school. I was harassed not only about putting Tyler in jail, but also Nikki.  Beckett was having a grand ol’ time though. Now that Tyler was gone, the whole school looked up to Beckett as their “leader”. With this new role of his, Beckett had no time to check up on me. In the snow, he had told me that we needed to separate until he could find a way out of this situation. He said he would still look after me but that was obviously a lie.

     Every day I walked the halls I would get spit on and called names. Whore, liar, snitch, and big mouth were among the most popular. Now where was Beckett? Well he was hanging out with Kelly Riddick and her cheerleading squad. On this day though, January the twenty-second, things were going to get out of hand.

     I was going to my locker before I headed home. I needed to drop off some books. As I was placing my Pre-Calculus book in my locker I felt as if I was being watched. When I had slammed my locker shut I turned around to find what I thought to be the whole school staring at me. I looked at them strangely but when they didn’t move, I decided to just ignore them and begin walking to my truck. As soon as I moved they all began to throw what looked like pills at me. They were all different colors and sizes.

     “Just kill yourself!”

     “No one wants you here!”

     “Do everyone a favor and die!”

     “Fine! You know what, that’s actually a good idea! Let me just take some of these,” I reached down and scooped up a bunch of pills that began to pile up at my feet. “I’ll go home right now and swallow all of these.” The hallway grew quite but as I walked to the door I heard one girl say, ‘What’s her problem?”

     “Really?!” I said turning towards the crowd. “What’s my problem? Well my problem is that I was raped and all you assholes are blaming me! But you want to know my biggest problem? Well let me tell you. I was not only raped but mother beats me and now her and my ex-boyfriends father are getting married. So yeah, that’s my problem.” Before I turned to open the door I caught a glimpse of Beckett. He looked remorseful but I didn’t really care anymore.

     “And you,” I said looking right at Beckett. “You can have this back.” I ripped the necklace Beckett gave me from my neck and threw it hard on the ground. Without another word, I ran to my truck. I quickly started the engine and began to pull away. But as I passed by the school doors, Beckett rushed out. As I drove faster, I watched as he disappeared further and further into my mirror. Tears rushed down my face as I sped home. This was all going to end today.

     I opened the front door quickly and rushed inside. I was expecting Aunt Cecilia to be sitting on the couch reading but the only thing living in the house was Marty. On my way to the bathroom I dropped my backpack under the kitchen table. When I looked up I saw a note: I had to run into town for a bit. Be back soon. XOXO

     “Good.” I thought to myself. I walked away from the table and into the bathroom. I locked the door and then sat on the floor. I reached into the bottom of the towel draw and retrieved my razor blade. I sat on the cold floor and looked at the blade.

     “Come on Evangeline, just use me already. It doesn’t show weakness. Come one just a few cuts.” I watched as the imaginary talking blade tried to convince me.

     “Well I can’t do it in silence.” I said out loud. Without putting the blade down, I reached into my back pocket and grabbed my phone I quickly put went to my music and put my playlist of shuffle. The first song to come on: Fix a Heart by Demi Lavato.

     “What a coincidence.” I whispered as a few tears leaked out of my eyes. I looked at the blade. I couldn’t hold this off anymore. I had to do it now.

     With one quick swipe, I felt a sharp pain and when I looked down dark red blood was pouring of my cut. “More!” my mind screamed. I obliged and cut my left wrist a couple more times. Then I turned to my right. I was in excruciating pain but I didn’t care; this was going to be the last time I would ever get hurt. I sliced away at my arm and when I felt I was done, I laid down on the floor.

     Cold. That’s all I could feel right now. I stared at the bathroom ceiling as my wrists soon became numb. “This is finally it. I did it!” I thought to myself. Then something hit my mind. Beckett.

    “Maybe I should give him one last call.” I said aloud. I reached over for my phone. As I did so blood dripped onto my shirt. I unlocked my phone with a lot of difficulty and by the time I dialed the number I had to put it on speaker because I was too weak.

     “Ring. Ring. Ring. Hey, you’ve reached Beckett. Leave a message and I’ll get back to you. Beep.”

     “I did it because I love you.” I simply said. Then with my remaining strength I clicked the end call button. As things became blurry and fuzzy I heard the vibration of my phone. Before I could reach for it I blacked out. My last thought, peace at last.