Her Ideal Husband

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' He loves you.'

I shook my head in the negative. ' No he doesn't.'

' Yes,He does!' Tamar exclaimed. Standing up she paced around my office looking at me like I was some kind of extinct specie of a blind bat. ' Of course he does! What kinda guy would take a girl out for a romantic candle light dinner to a restaurant that he rented out for the night, just for the two of you with a personal chef to attend to you! If he doesn't have feelings for you huh?' She asked.

I opened my mouth to answer but she beat me to it. ' Oh but that's not all of it! he then takes you to the theater to watch the movie; The note book. A romantic movie! Again with just you two in the vicinity! Do you think its a mere coincidence?! can't you see? You guys could not have been the only ones that wanted to watch that! He rented out the place for just you again dummy!' She sighed. ' Its obvious the guy put a lot of thought into organizing such a wonderful evening'.

I opened my mouth to retort a reply but once again she beat me to it.

' If that's not love, then I don't know what the hell is!' She exclaimed before flopping on the seat across me, a dramatic sigh escaping her lips.

I opened and closed my mouth but nothing came out. My brain was processing with speed all what Tamar had said. It was true that at the dinner it was just us two,in our own private cubicle with candle lights and scented rose petals scattered all over. The chef had cooked us a sumptuous three course meal which I had devoured like a starved hyena,not to mention the desert- my favourite, a chocolictic- chocolate cake! ( yes I know chocolictic isn't a word, lol) . Did I mention we had no waiter to wait on us? As you might have guessed,the chef took on the role!

I truly am blind,I thought to myself.

This time,I started pacing around the office.

' It can't be true' I muttered to myself.

Tamar nodded. ' It is. The guy is in love with you.'

' But I don't love him!' I shrieked,running my hands through my hair in frustration.

' Correction- you are,you just don't know it yet. '

' Ugh!' I slumped down into the seat opposite Tamar's and put my head in my hands.

Ever since I met Samir at that party everything had changed for me. I now have these feelings i don't know what to do with! I mean I had to admit that I think about him constantly, I try to be more respectful, I even feel guilty when I'm being rude to him. Its..he's.. Changing me,he is. Is this a good thing or a bad thing? I can't tell.

' I'm so confused.' I sighed.

' Raya, I know I have not known you for long, I mean we've known each other for a little over a year but I can tell you that there's been a change in you since you met him. I know, I know, you are happy with your dad and mama Hannah, and maybe even me?' She inquired teasingly.

I shook my head in the negative. ' No,I'm not.'

' Bleh! So as I was saying,we are your family, we make you happy,but you also need someone else to make you happy, in his own way. Raya,no matter how strong you are, we are humans and you're a woman, the compulsion for you to want a man to complete you will never go away..its the way we are designed. ' She sighed. ' I've had a lot of relationships as you know and I can tell when something is real. This guy, - Samir, he loves you,he really does. I see it in his eyes when he looks at you and don't you think that even though you've tried hard,very hard to push him away, it didn't work? He's still here ..and I believe he will be for a long time..'

' That's the most intelligent thing I've ever heard you say'.

She threw me a dark look. ' Don't push it.'

I sighed. ' You're right T. I do think about him constantly, I don't know? more than I've ever thought about any man before, in a romantic way. I don't know what to do with these feelings. I do like him a lot, and I feel like my throat gets constricted anytime I think of him with another girl besides myself. And when he doesn't call me to check up on me or just to hear my voice.. My heart feels heavy..and I...I...miss him...'

' Oh Raya!' Tamar exclaimed wiping tears away from her eyes.

I scowled. ' Why are you crying now?'

' Because you're in love! You are! And its so pathetic that you don't want to realise it but I'm glad that at least your heart works, I was beginning to think there was a cold stone laying in its place.'

' Whatever' I muttered staring at my palm.

' Has he said the words to you, yet?' She inquired.

' What words?'

She rolled her eyes. ' I love you'

' Eww Tamar, I have told you I don't love you why can't you just let me be.' I exclaimed mockingly.

She threw me a dirty look. ' Answer the question.'

I sighed. ' No, he hasn't'

' But he will.' She nodded confidently.

' How do you know?'

' My instincts.'

***

'Dad! ,Mama Hannah! I'm home!' I exclaimed as soon as I made it home. Flinging my nude Chanel bag and scarf on the dinning table,I made to walk into the sitting room when I heard a voice that stopped me in my tracks.

It sounded.. Like her.

No,it couldn't be. She left. She's gone.

Taking in a deep breath I walked over and opened the double doors. Lo and behold I saw her sitting there on a couch with my dad and Mama Hannah.

I could feel my heart racing, my breath coming in short pants. I stared at her for a long while trying to say something, anything.

Finally I choked out ' Mm-om?'