My Mind in a Book

Another School Rant

So today, since I am injured, I had to sit out of gym class. I Asked the teacher if I could use my computer to work on a writing assignment, which meant writing more for you guys, and he said,"No, you can study for my test". LIKE SERIOUSLY! GYM TESTS ARE SO EASY THAT I COULD PASS WITHOUT EVEN TRYING. Anyway I was stuck studying the stupid study guide until I got bored and had to do Sudoku for the rest of class.

Also in my Com-Arts class, were doing this "write a letter to your future self" thing. To be honest I really like this idea. I wonder how much I Might change in the next year. If i change too much, I hope that this letter straightens me out. I really don't want to change for giggles sake. I don't want to lose her. That is my greatest fear. Losing everything I hold dear. Listening to Imagine Dragons helps me realize what i truly fear. Another thing i fear is letting people know the real me. "I'm taking a stand to escape what's inside me" you could say.(For Giggles, "I wanna hide the truth, I wanna shelter you, but with the beast inside, there's nowhere we can hide".) Yeah I hate the real me, the anger filled mess that gets through every day only because he has people he truly cares about.He knows that if he goes away, they might have 2 reactions. 1. "Oh he was just another friend, they come and go." or 2."Why did he leave"? He doesn't want to make them worry so he keeps quiet, doesn't talk about his problems. Selflessly helps others, tries to clear his conscious of the pain and grief he feels. But nothing works. He never tells anyone when anythings wrong. He doesn't ask for anything because he feels selfish if he asks for new things even though he needs them.

Sorry, the rant wasn't necessary. But i'm gonna keep it there because now i know i've told people how I feel. Anyway my free period is almost over and I need to get ready to leave.

Giggles, if you read this please don't worry. I know that if I leave, you would probably do thing that I don't even want to imagine. So i'm not leaving.