Tonyas Story

Firat time as time goes on

So when you always feel that you're alone and you don't know what's really going on but you don't want to go back to what it used to be that is what we all need to learn. I've learned this in many ways especially now I'm just turned 15 today May 12th 2016. My 2014-2015 and summer 2016 wasn't the greatest butt I need to get through it I pushed through it that is why I am still alive today. I pushed it so much that I try to help people more than I help myself now and I did that back then but I do it more as a passion I told my story... to help people like me and you normal human being that need to know that they're not alone.

                It all changed really when I went to a concert with Andrea Bauer. She took me to go see Newsboys Audio Adrenaline of my favorite obb these are all Christian Bass bands but I still love them they were amazing I didn't think I was going to be able to handle them but I was able to. I've learned so much going there just one night knowing that I'm not alone that the person that I believed in isn't physically here but he is always mentally and he was always inside me. Some days I just wish that Jesus didn't die on the cross for us I sometimes just saying that he is like here physically with us but he is still our Holy One. I never thought that I believed in the Holy One in Jesus and God but this concert changed me it changed me it changed me. It changed me to the point where I have Suicidal Thoughts I wasn't as depressed I don't have frequent mood swings like I just took an hour of the day.

                 Sometimes I just ask myself what if I never  went to that concert with Andrea would I still be in my path I've never seen my future. What I am I don't know maybe not have this tablet right now to be typing on to tell you guys my story. What I be not in my home would I be somewhere else for example of group home or even maybe jail depending on what I put myself through.  I don't always agree of what I did for my past,  not for my present but all I know is that right now I feel confident enough to go to a airplane go hundred feet in the air and fall and hope somebody catches me that's how much I trust and how much I further I came since the beginning of this school year alone even how much I have came from last school year my 8th grade year. I've came so far that I do not want to go backwards and I need your help to help myself.