09 | wallflower

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W A L L F L O W E R

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W A L L F L O W E R

[erysimum cheiri] ➳ friendship.  

BY THE TIME ISAAC AND I found empty seats on the edge of the cafeteria, dozens of eyes had branded the back of my skull.

I crammed a mouthful of muffin down my throat. Isaac was magnetic, but though he drew stares and started conversations, his gravitational pull wasn't strong enough for whole people. We sat with two connected tables to ourselves, his pasta plate steaming and steam spouting from my ears as I silently fumed.

Neither of us acknowledged the elephant in the room. Isaac eventually stopped inhaling his food long enough to notice. "You look uncomfortable," he said, propping his elbow onto the table. "Anyone watching would think I'm interrogating you or something."

Half-heartedly, I set the muffin down. "I'm so glad you can read the minds of all two hundred and fifty people watching us right now."

I wasn't kidding. I didn't shy away from eye contact, but it was unnerving to encounter it every time I lifted my head. Isaac twisted to face the rest of the room, and instantly our classmates' eyes darted to their tables, to the ground. Spinning back around, he forked a farfalle into his mouth.

"Weird." He rocked in his seat before settling down. "Maybe we should put on a show."

"Maybe we shouldn't." I peeled off the muffin's wrapper. "I don't get why everyone already thinks this is so interesting."

That was partly a lie, though. Had I been sitting anywhere else in this room, I too would've been unable to tear my eyes away. Isaac was interesting; everything he did was, by extension, captivating too.

He had other ideas. "It's you," he said simply. "Hardly anyone ever sees you around."

"That's not true." I couldn't keep my grimace at bay. "I eat in the cafeteria every day. It's you who always leaves with your food. Thanks for implying that I'm invisible, by the way."

Isaac didn't take the bait. "What you're implying," he interjected, "is that you've noticed me before."

"Mhm." I turned my attention back to the muffin. I refused to give him the satisfaction of knowing just how far my fascination went.

But he traced the jut of his chin, and his lips parted like clouds to give rise to the sun in his smile. It was impossible to keep my gaze away for long. "So what've you noticed?" he asked once I zeroed in on him again. "Mostly good things?"

The ends of my nerves itched, digging holes into my skin that made me run my fingers up the lengths of my arms.

"Go on," he said.

I didn't know where to start, so I picked the most recent piece of information I'd acquired. "You're repeating the year, aren't you?"

Isaac nodded. "It'd be hard for me to graduate on time if I went ahead with grade twelve, so they just held me back."

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