Savior

43

December 31, 2014

I was in bed, the bandage I had around my left and right wrist was itching my cuts. I walked to the living room and grabbed a pen from the table. I pushed it under the cloth and slowly moved it back and forth. It was working.

A knock on the door startled me as I threw the pen to the side and walked to open it, I see Cameron. A sad expression took over his face when he looked to the bandages around both wrist. I looked down, putting my arms in back of me then looked up with a small smile. He walked in closing the door behind him and shoved his hands in his pockets. "Why?" he asked.

I looked down and took my phone from my pocket, I clicked on the Twitter app and then the DM section and handed the phone to him. He scrolled, clicked and then his hand rubbed his entire face before setting my phone on my table. "I don't, I don't get it Jas, you were doing so good. I just- I don't know." he fussed.

"I didn't try killing myself." I defended, "I just wanted to feel physical pain so both my emotions and body felt the same hurt."

His eyes were low, they were slightly red but there was no tears, "Why wasn't I there for you. You know none of that is true right?"

I looked to my feet.

"No, no, its not true. It's not true at all!" he shook his head repeatedly. I looked to the side, small tears filled my eyes, falling slowly.

Just then the door sprung open, Matt's face was red, he looks as if he was crying but he springs forward and grabs me into his arms. He doesn't speak. He hugs tightly and kisses my forehead. I hold him and breathe slowly into his chest. I don't know what Cameron was doing but I didn't care at that moment.

Matt's hand rubbed at my upper back until I broke into tears.

"Shh, shh," he cooed, "I got you princess, okay?" his hands push my hair back as I stare at him with red eyes while nodding fast. "Hey," he smiles, "I'm here okay?" he wipes the tear and pulls me in again. This time my arms are over his shoulders so I look around for Cameron.

He was gone.

I cried more.

I wanted both of them here with me.

I nuzzled my face into Matt's shoulder as we stood in front on the door.

"Come here.." his hand went to my lower back as he set me on the couch, "We won't talk, we'll order food and watch movies." he smiled again. He kissed my forehead before taking his phone out and ordering food.

I watched him from the couch as he told the person, "Yes, everything on the menu." He laughed a bit, probably because whoever he was ordering from thought he was insane. He hung up and chuckled, "It should be here in a bit, I'm going to make tea, alright?"

I nodded at him and he smiled again before heading into the kitchen.

I grabbed a tissue from the side table and wiped away my remaining tears and patted at the redness under and around the rest of my eye. I could hear him shuffling around and I laughed.

"Hey I hear you laughing, I got this!" he laughed. I smiled and covered up with the blanket that decorates the couch.

The tea begins to whistle and I hear the slight clink of cups before he walks back to where I am. He sets one cup down then hands me the other. "Herbal, didn't think you still kept that kind, you always had it when you were stressed." I smile, "Thank You."

He looks at me and shrugs, "I'm always here, and Cameron is too, he just doesn't like that he wasn't the hero this time."

"You both are my heroes Matty, always. Because in all honesty, I could never hate you even if I tried." I gave him a smirk as he blushed.

A couple minutes passed and someone knocked at the door.

Matt got up, pulling out his wallet and opened it, he paid the man then thanked him.

He closed the door with his foot since in his hands he carried 3 bags and a large box of pizza, "Huh, huh?" he smirked.

I chuckled as he set the bags down.

"What're you eatin'?" I joked. He faked a laugh, "Hah, hah, hilarious."

He opened the box and then took everything out the bags.

I reached out for the wings when he did so our hands touched and he looked at me, my body heated up as our eyes connected.

I smiled and grabbed the small box opening it and set it between us. He took one and laughed.

We began eating and watching different movies throughout the rest of the night.

"How did you find out?" I asked. He sighed and set his water down, "Uh Nash... He wanted me to know because he knows you needed me right now."

I nodded, "Oh..."

"Are you mad?" he asked.

I shook my head, "No," I smiled, "I probably wouldn't have told you at all." Matt frowned, "Why's that?" I shrugged at him and looked down, "Embarrassed." Matt smiled, "How could you? You've seen me at my worst, this isn't the first time I've seen you at yours. But none of that phases the way I feel about you. It never will."

I blushed at him.

We chatted and it felt like old times. I couldn't have asked for a better night.

*****

January 1, 2015

When the he morning arrived I sat up on the couch, I looked at my clock for it read 7:00AM. I groaned.

I looked heard the shower running so I walked to the bathroom. "Matt?" I asked. He was singing Ariana Grande's The Way. I laughed and he looked around the curtain, "Hey leave my singing voice alone!" he scolded me with a shower cap on his head and the shower head in his hand.

"Sorry, Sorry." I laughed.

He turned the water off then opened the curtain taking a towel from the handle to the side. I eyed him and chuckled, he was always so skinny and had a long neck.

He pulled on boxers and then sweats and a t-shirt, both things I kept here when I missed him.

"Didn't think you still had these.." he laughed. I shrugged, "I wear them when I'm really cold." He nodded and dried his hair with the towel. He smiled and laughed.

"Happy new year by the way.." he laughed.

I didn't even realize that.

I smiled, "Happy new year Matthew." 

He chuckled, "I gotta get going, call me later, no I'll call you later." I nodded, "Yeah, okay, okay. I need to find Cameron, I can't imagine how he feels right now." He nods while grabbing his shoes, "Damn I know. I feel bad. I charged in and didn't mind him. You should try tomorrow, you need to rest." I nodded, "Yeah okay fine." 

He kissed me on my lips and walked out door.

I was stunned.

I put my hand to my lips and stared at the closed door. I gulped hard. I didn't know what to think.