ten.

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april 24, 2017

" yoori! "

" oh hey, jaemin. " i reply while massaging my shoulders.

"what's wrong? " his head tilts before he spins me around and begins tying my hair up with the hair tie he always kept on his wrist for what he calls 'yoorimergencies.' he begins massaging my shoulders gently, so i close my eyes and decide to enjoy his sweetness whether it was fake or not.

" nothing, really. i'm just tired. studying all night for a job interview i have coming up and it was very... interesting until i knocked out on my laptop and now i have a stiff neck. " i say, rubbing my eyes.

" poor baby yoori... well, i was wondering if you had any plans tonight after school. we can get ice cream together or go shopping or go to your house or my house or whatever you want. " he says, shaking my shoulders.

" oh, sure... jaemin? " i say. he hums in response causing me to nod to myself. " we don't have to hang out since cheonsa isn't watching. do you need help with anything, though? i could help you after school like usual. "

" i don't like cheonsa anymore. "

" you what?! " i say, whisper yelling. i look around making sure we aren't raising attention. " so... you're fake breaking up with me..? "

" let me rephrase this... okay, this might sound weird, but when does anything that comes out of my mouth sound normal? " he says, spinning me around while smiling shyly. " when i looked into cheonsa's eyes the other day, i saw beauty. "

" that's nice. " i say, looking at him like he's crazy.

" no! listen, in her eyes, i see beauty... and that's it. i felt strange after i made that eye contact with her. she even smiled at me brightly like she was proud of me and my heart didn't do flips... then i hung out with you that afternoon. and your eyes... i saw beauty. "

" you're doing great, jaemin, you're doing great. " i say, trying not to show the confusion laced with pain.

he pouts at me, frustrated with himself. he puts his hands gently around my neck and steps close to i could see every freckle clearly on his face and feel his uneven, nervous breaths lightly on my nose. he tilts my head up and i watch as his eyes switch between my two eyes. i begin hiccuping, making him giggle slightly. he moves his hands to rest on my cheeks.

" in your eyes, i see a twinkle. i see beauty. i see passion. i see genuine care and love. i see potential. i see... a future. our future. " he sighs, resting his head on my head while closing his eyes. " i sound dumb, but... just know that i've lost romantic interest in cheonsa and would like to, maybe, start something romantic between you and me? healthily? like, we can go through the crush phase and everything, if you want. i'll look at you from the end of the hallway and blush and shy away and when you pass me i'll go 'g-good morning... yoori-sshi' and you'll bow like 'good morning, oppa.' "

after a few seconds of awkward silence i burst out laughing. i step on my tip toes and kiss his cheek. " i accept your proposal, just no crush phase, please. " i joke, smiling at him. " disappointed you didn't bend down on one knee like you did for cheonsa. shame. "

he falls onto his knee without hesitation and holds my hands in his. " yoori, you've already accepted my proposal, but here's me asking again in the correct way. will you do me the pleasure of being mine for as long as you let me, princess? "

i was so caught up in my happiness, i barely stop myself before saying yes. it felt real, i promise. but i'm sure it isn't.

i looked around to see if anyone was in the classroom.

no one.

i don't understand.

" i don't understand, jaemin. no one is watching. you don't have to say cheesy things like this. now go get some rest before next class. " i say, looking down. " you really got my hopes up for a second... "

don't get your hopes up, yoori. he doesn't like you. he likes your best friend.

he gets to his feet and holds my hands in his firmly. " wait, what? yoori... i understand you don't believe me... but... i truly realized the last few days that i suddenly want to put you before my closest friends. i was sad yesterday and rather than hanging out with my friends, i hung out with you the whole day pretending as though it was just all part of the fake dating thing, dont you remember? i understand if you cant trust this but... ill explain more later, okay! i like-like you, yoori! i hope you feel better, but the bells about to ring! see you! " he says before running off to his class.

he likes me? empty words, i'm sure. maybe a dream.

i don't know what i feel anymore. my mind says: "move on! go to jisung!" but my heart says: "hold on! go to jaemin!"

it's so hard to give up on someone that you can't go a full day without thinking about.


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