Picture and My quote Book

THE SELF TRUST IN CANNABIS

The Sun was shining bright, better than any other day. Something was different that day; the rays of the sun were miraculously beautiful that day. I walked past Old street of London and went inside a coffee shop. I asked the old lady to serve me a cup of cappuccino. The colour of my Italian drink was little different, a little darker and little strange. A smile appeared on my face as I saw my cup of coffee that made me, thanks the old lady more time than required. I sat near the shade of a tree to enjoy my cup. The man whom I had fallen in love was sitting right in front of me sipping his coffee. He was staring at me. I avoided him and started to drink my share of delight and awareness that I would get once the coffee enters my blood stream. I looked up to see the time on my phone, he was still staring at me. He did not take his eyes off me. I changed my facial expression from indifference to surprise. He took his coffee and came and sat right in front of me. I was completely overtaken by his gesture of genuine indifference which I saw in him for almost a year that I know him to a difference which he was trying to make by taking seven steps to closer to me.

"You don't mind, right?"

"No, not at all!" I exclaimed.

"So, how have you been?"

"Good, I guess!" I avoid asking him anything. As I was still trying to understand his strange reaction. He took another sip of his espresso. I remembered reading a quote somewhere 'Be a coffee-drinking individual – espresso yourself'. Was his coffee a reason why he was finally ready to express himself to me after a year of silence? Still puzzled by the situation, I tried to finish my coffee.

"It's not fair to make people stand so long for a cup of coffee" He exclaimed, looking at a long line of people waiting for their coffee.

"Why?" I asked.

"You don't want to wait to wake up, do you?"

"No," I said in surprise, for I was not convinced with the thought of wanting for a coffee to wake you up. I felt like he was like giving unnecessary importance to something that exists to add flavour to our drinks. Or was he trying to say 'I sip, therefore I am'. He was always the most difficult person to read. I did not struggle with his thought this time. I quickly looked at my phone. I still had 30 more minutes to rush for my work. I had enough time to let our conversation stimulate into a good blend coffee, which will keep me awake for the rest of my day and might linger in my thought of the rest of my life.

"You don't look much convinced" He interrogated.

"Well, Coffee is a coffee unless and until you want to decorate it with adjectives." I gave him a reply that might sound convincing.

"Something in life is best enjoyed rich, like coffee in your hand; it should be rich and hot. Coffee will make you live more kinetic life contrast to that you need to slow down to sip it as it is hot, you see. You cannot be careless with the way you handle the cup in your hand. If you can appreciate the cup in your hand, you are closer to enjoying small pleasure in your life. A cup of coffee can give you a high."

"Caffeine isn't a drug" I resisted his idea of turning a cup of coffee into a philosophical argument

"Caffeine isn't a drug like heroin, but it's a performance enhancing drug like a vitamin. You see, you are wide away now. I can see the difference. It's inhuman to make people wait to be this awake, they deserve to be awake as soon as they want to be awake. A drug addict doesn't like to wait to for their share of high, you see."

I was quite surprised of his observation of me as if he was studying me like a book. I hated him for a while to compare my innocent cup of coffee with the highly illegal substance used by a group of people who don't openly belong to the better half of the world. Coffee was definitely not a drug in my mind. And now he has managed to plant a seed of doubt in my head.

"Well, drugs are forbidden by law. You cannot go and promote drugs for consumption." I resisted his thought of him trying to change my stance.

"Resistance to something will make you lose the argument even before you try to win it." He said. He continued his argument

"What is forbidden to someone should not be decided by law which existed for the formation of society. It has to be an active process and for each man should decide for his own. Drug or no drug is your choice but that should be a reflection of your inner voice not the reverence of someone else borrowed tone."

"Well, I don't represent anyone's voice." I discarded his thought immediately in self-defence."

"Why are you against something when you don't even know what it is?" I looked at him in surprise, here is this man who I have known for almost a year and who took refuge in silence and never spoken a word to me is now opening up to me and preaching ideas which did not represent so-called good in society.

"Well, there are certain laws and principles that we need to obey, to be part of society." I tried to sound as intellectual as I could to him.

"Seek the reason for your resistance to drugs than to take refuse in law. No law is superior to your inner law." He said. He was always so sure and confident of his life and maybe his clarity was something that I found alluring and attractive. He continued

"Do you still second guess your opinion wanting it to conform to what everyone else says. Conformity is a disease, it kills individuality and it kills your inner voice. To be who you are, you need to be non-conformist."

I gazed at him for a long time, trying to digest what he just told me. Was the man sitting in front of me trying to make me doubt who I was, or at least who I think I. He read me through and he just spelt out the truth to me in more certain and confident way. I hated him for that as much as I loved him.

"See many are all trying to run away from who they are, some take refuge in church people call them safe, some take refuge in whisky people call them alcoholic, some take refuge in opium and LSD people call drug addicts. It all same way and it leads nowhere if that gesture is not done with complete trust in who they really are."

"I am not any of these." I resisted his voice which was now penetrating my heart.

"I am not telling you, you are. You need to know who you are. In the final analysis, it is between you and your inner voice because nothing can give you true happiness, it never between you and society and their law." I leant back to observe him carefully. He was still the man whom I observed since I step London for the first time. He was still the one who never spoke to me for a year. He is still the man who I have fallen in love with.

And he is still the man who is sitting in front of me and telling me to listen to my inner voice. I thought it would turn out to be a love story, but it definitely has many more twists and turns. The clock touched 9:30 and it was time for both of us to leave for our desired destiny.

"I have to go now." He got and went to his work. I observed him walking past the bridge I was so familiar with his style and his gesture that they have almost become my second nature to me. I was sitting there in silence trying to understand what he was trying to say to me. Dali was right someone people don't need the drug. They are the drug.