numinous: (adj.) describing an experience that makes you fearful yet fascinated, awed yet attracted -- the powerful, personal feeling of being overwhelmed and inspired.
"Nobody can change a person. But someone can be the reason for a person to ch...
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SONG FOR THE CHAPTER;
NEON LIGHTS
PIM STONES
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SØNDAG 19:47
After Friday's party, I stayed home all weekend. I didn't go out with the girls. I didn't speak to anyone after that including Isak and William. The girls have been calling and texting, asking whether I was okay or not. But I never answered.
Isak and William have also called and texted, multiple times. I texted Isak that I was okay and that he didn't have to worry about anything. Isak, being who he is, didn't listen and came to visit yesterday. He spent the whole day with me and left this afternoon. Isak knows of my disorder. He's one of the three I told. But I never mentioned that I relapsed. It would have worried him. While he was here, he seemed suspicious of something, but never mentioned anything, which made me relieved. I didn't really want to relive that memory again.
It's William's messages that I've ignored. Not because he hurt Vilde or anything. But because William becomes a whole different person when something like that happens to me. I just hope that Chris can keep his mouth shut and not tell him anything.
I haven't eaten anything the past two days. I just drank multiple cups of coffee and slept as much as I could. After the attacks, I usually lose my appetite entirely. My mind goes completely blank sometimes. Other times I think of the night that ruined my entire life.
It took me about 7 and a half months for my "recovery". I was doing a little better after that. No panic attacks, no thoughts. But then Joshua called, and every little memory of that night came rushing in my mind.
Ding.
I sit up from my bed slowly and wonder who the hell is ringing my doorbell at 8 o'clock at night. My feet patter across the concrete floor and I open the door.
"William? What are you-"
He stops me by engulfing me into a tight hug. I furrow my eyebrows confused, but I hug him back and rest my head on his chest since he's taller than me. At times like this, I become a little emotional and so I begin to feel a couple of tears stream down my face.
After a few minutes, we pull back and he wipes the tears of my face.
"Why didn't you tell me?" he asks.
I click my tongue, "Chris told you." I sigh, "I didn't want to say anything."
"Why?"
"It's fucking embarrassing William."
He shakes his head, "No. It's not. You need to tell me things like this. I don't want you to have the same thoughts as you did before."
