My Life, My Story

Chapter 9 - second day

Tuesday, second day in Stepping Stones.

Steph walks into my room with a blood pressure machine.
"Good morning, Emma. Every morning we do blood pressure and heart rate checks. Is it okay if I check yours?
I managed to nod my head and slide myself to the end of the bed so she can check my blood pressure.
Steph wraps the straps thing around my arm and puts the heart rate monitor thing on my finger.
Once she's done. She's asks me of I would like some breakfast. Me being me, I don't eat in front of people. Therefore I refuse.
I spend that day, again sitting on my bed. Getting checked on every 15 minutes. There was also a nurse who sat in the unit 24/7.

I could hear voices coming from outside my door. O could hear another females voice and a males voice. Turns out they were also living on the unit. Hannah and Jed.

The nurse doing the checks asks if I want a book or anything to read. Obviously I refuse as I don't feel like reading. I just want to get out.

Morning tea is called. Steph asks if I wanted morning tea. Or if I want some brought to my room. I refuse. Once again.
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After lunch and several 15 minutes checks later.
I get introduced to an older women and an older make who were my case workers. The male was a psychiatrist.

They bring me out of my room. And bring me to another confined locked room. Inside this room was a big meeting table.

The male psychiatrist does the talking and asks questions. Whilst the female, she observes my behaviour and takes notes.
I get asked questions like:
- how I'm feeling.
- if this has happened before.
- how long have I been self harming.
- questions about my family.
Etc.

The discussion lasts around 44 minutes until they dismiss me.

I had to wait for the female to come and let me back into the unit because its locked. Once I'm safely back into the unit. I see Hannah and Jed talking and playing with the nurse that supervises us 24/7. Things go quiet when I'm back in my unit. As they have never seen me before. I just hurry quickly to my room and sit on my bed.
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More 15 minute checks

Visiting times were from 4pm through to 8pm.

I hear the unit being unlocked with the most irritating unlocking sound.
In walks my mother. She came and visited me. She also came and gave me a bag of clothes and tolliteries.

"I have a meeting with your case workers tomorrow. Hopefully you will be allowed to come home" mum explained to me.

I desperately wanted to go home. I needed food and sleep.

"Have you eaten or slept?" Mum asked. I just laughed at her because she already knew the answer to that. Mum generally cared.

The nurse would even do 15 minute checks when I was happy and safe with my mother. Like seriously dude.
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Mum leaves at 8:00pm as visiting times is over.
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I hear Hannah and Jed talking to the nurse on call about me. "Why doesn't she leave her room?" "Whats her name?"
I decide to scream out to them. "I can hear you".
Jed calls out to me and says I can come out, that they won't bite.

I decide to get changed into my pajamas and walk out of my room.
For the first time since I've arrived, I have finally seen the two other people who were on the ward with me.

I introduce myself. And sit down on the carpet. Hannah and Jed were both really nice people. They start to strike up a conversation and encourage me to participate by asking me questions.

The unit was a big open space.
As you walk into the unit, straight ahead you have a big double door that lead to the outside which was all locked up and everything. There wasent much outside. Just a wall that had been graffiti on by the other patients. On the right were a males and females bathroom. Inside the bathrooms was one toilet, one sink with a mirror and one bath. And on the right were 3 rooms with a secured door grey door. Only one of the nurses was able to unlock the door from the outside as they had to swipe their card. There was also two nurses offices on either side, once again. Was only accessible through a nurse. Strictly no patient access.

At 10:00pm. We all went to bed.