The Potion Princess

Emmeline and Clary

There'd been a tension between the three of them ever since Harry had come back and announced you-know-who's return.  It'd been days full of words that didn't mean anything or meant to much, stretches of silence where the Audra thought that they'd be able to hear her heart climbing into her throat.  Maybe they should have brought it up on their own, calmly, in a way that would allow them to discuss exactly where they're future was headed, but now the three of them were left to deal with this- Clary screaming with tears streaming down her cheeks, Emmeline yelling back with growing frustration, and Audra stuck between them, like that could possibly shield any of them should a wand be drawn.

"You'll fight against him, won't you?"  Clary pleaded, like she already knew the answer.  Audra was used to watching what she said around Clary.  Out of the three, she was the one who needed to be protected, who was fragile, who hadn't been hurt bad enough to develop scars yet.  There was nothing breakable about her now, with the fire blazing in her eyes and heat rising in her cheeks. 

Emmeline just stared back at her.  She used to look at Clary like she found her whole world there, like she would do anything to protect it, but now she was just cold, the ice to Clary's flame.  Audra watched the shutters fall over her best friend's face, knowing that the mask was only there to hide Emmeline's pain but would only make Clary's wounds ten times worse.  Where Clary's emotions were running wild and clear in every syllable, Emmeline was somehow calm, pale and with a slight tremor in her voice, but dry eyed.  "We can't."  There was real pain in those words, and she took a step forward, arms outstretched, but Clary took a step back, wand in her shaking hand.

"Audra's fighting, aren't you, Audra?"  She swung towards Audra with such speed that she threw her own wand up to defend herself if need be, but she just stared at her.

"I am."  The words filled with her equal parts dread and relief.  "You know I am."

"See?"  Clary jabbed her wand in Audra's directions.  Sparks shot out of the end, singing both of their robes.  "She's fighting, she's being brave, why can't you?"

"Don't be stupid, she's only fighting because of Fred."  Emmeline spat, and Audra was glad to see that she was at least saying something, even if it was attacking her.  "You think if she wasn't in love with him she'd ever even consider turning her back on her family?"

"So she'll fight for him but you won't fight for me?"  Clary's voice was a whisper now, and somehow, that was even worse than the yelling.  This, Audra figured, was the real problem, that a pureblood had fallen in love with a muggleborn and now there were people telling them it was wrong.  All Clary wanted Emmeline to say was that she wasn't listening.  "She's doing the right thing.  She's brave enough to fight for what she loves."

"It's not about who we love!  It's not about what we want!"  Emmeline's wand was steaming, an angry hiss that was burning her hand.  She didn't pay any attention.  "You have no idea what he's like, who he is, what he can do.  You can't know what he'll threaten us, who he'll torture, what he'll promise to ruin.  He'll destroy the things we love."

"So you'll turn your back?  He doesn't need to hurt what you love if you're willing to leave them behind!"  Clary broke down into sobs them, stepping forward to throw herself at Emmeline.  She was crying, pathetically, clutching at her robes.  "Please, I'm begging you, just say you won't join him.  We can run away, he'll never find us.  I'm good at charms, I can make us disappear."  She pulled herself to her feet, put her hands on Emmeline's cheeks.  Their faces are so close together now, she breathes out the words.  "Stay with me.  Run away with me and I'll keep us safe.  Choose me, Emmeline.  Please."

Emmeline closed her eyes, briefly.  It was an expression Audra recognized, one she had seen before.  It belonged in memories that held the days of Emmeline's most crushing heart breaks- the news of her grandmother's death, her mother's many miscarriages, her uncle's Azkaban sentencing.  She knew what was coming before it happened.  "I'm sorry."  She pried Clary's fingers from her robes, pushed them down to her sides.  "It's not about us.  It's about survival.  Some of us don't get happy endings."

"Don't make this about protecting me,"  Clary spat, reeling backwards like she had been slapped.  "You want this, don't you?  This is what you've been raised for.  You're going to go and kill people just to save your own skin?  Mudbloods and muggles and traitors, that's who you'll kill."

"I'm sorry."  Emmeline said again.  Audra was sure the words cut her tongue as she said them, and was surprised not to see the blood.  "I'm sorry."

"Sorry isn't good enough!  What if you have to kill me, torture one of the Weasley's, capture Audra?"  There is enough of a hesitation before Emmeline's answer, not to mention the look in her eyes, to give away the truth.  Clary makes a sound deep in her throat that is almost a snarl, and she launches herself at Emmeline, forgetting about her wand.  Audra knows the need to hurt something, to make someone else bleed for the pain you are feeling, yet she still reacts faster than she had thought possible.

"Protego!"  The sound echoes against the stone, louder than either of her friends' voices.  The force of the shield spell forces all three of them back- Audra gets thrown back into the wall and Emmeline stumbles, but Clary is thrown backwards and lands in a crumpled pile.  When she turns back around, her face is pale and she's cradling her wrist to her chest, but it seems that she has made up her mind.

"You do what you want, but I'm fighting on the right side.  So is Audra.  Be brave Emmeline, for once in your life, and do something you won't regret."  She is speaking from the ground and there are tears on her white face, but she's still impressive.  Emmeline doesn't take a step forward, and even Audra finds herself rooted to the spot, knowing she is not done and waiting to hear what else she has to say.  "Join him, and you lose me."

Emmeline tries to reach out to her, wanting to see her wrist, but Clary jerks away.  Emmeline recoils, and glares at both of them.  Audra wonders if anyone else but her would have noticed the tears shining in her eyes.  "Em-,"  She holds an arm out, placating, sure she can clear this up if she just explains, if they talk, if they have time to breathe and to think and Clary can't feel like the tears are choking her. 

"Don't make promises you can't keep,"  Emmeline spews the words.  "You don't know what you'll do when the time comes.  And when it does, you'll remember just how alike we are.  Slytherins always save their own skins, remember?"

Emmeline turns on her heal, stomping down the hall.  Audra waits until she can no longer hear her heels on the marble before kneeling next to Clary, gathering her in her arms and letting her cry.  "I can fix it."

She moves to take her wrist, to tap it with her wand, but Clary just pulls it back.  "No, you can't.  You can't fix anything."

Audra shushes her and fixes it anyways, wincing when she hears the sharp cracking of the bone snapping into place.  "I said I loved her."  Clary whispers.  She looks smaller.  "She never said it back."

Audra looks at her, thinks that she and Emmeline were wrong, that this little girl they thought they were protecting was stronger than both of them.  "I'm sorry."

"I should have known better when she didn't say it back."  Clary gets up, brushes the dirt off her robes.  In the shadows, you can't even tell that there's anything wrong.  "We better go."

Audra thinks about telling her that she was wrong, that Emmeline loved her, really, that she was just scared.  That she'd die for her, and do it with a smile.  Tell her that when the time comes, Emmeline will come through for them both. 

But what good would it do?