MBTI things

MBTI + How you died

MBTI + How you died

INTJ: How were you supposed to know that the guy you humiliated about his intelligence online ACTUALLY WAS a marine this time

ENTJ: In a moment of confusion, you accidentally put a hit out on YOURSELF without realizing. Ding-dong, who's there? It's a gun

INTP: Based on the fact that you still manage to exist despite that trash ass diet and sunlight deprivation and living inside your own mind means you're clearly biologically immortal so fuck idk go juggle some knives or something

ENTP: You didn't think anything would ~really~ happen when you read that inscription carved into the 3000 year old sheepskin you dug up from the woods but now you're possessed. Turns out the demon was a huge nerd bitch just like you so your body is still out there, sleeping until noon and laughing at memes

INFJ: You wake up in some cave with a pounding headache and you can't remember shit for the last 3 days and this must be the worst weekend ever because now people are talking about how you "resurrected" and it's "God's will"

ENFJ: You don't die, you just quietly disappear until you're needed again, like a guardian angel. or the microsoft word paperclip

INFP: You're learning to astral project via meditation and focus but unfortunately your mind wanders so you end up "reverse astral projecting" where your ghost stays put but your body gets teleported somewhere else and now you can't find it

ENFP: You weren't feeling anything after the first pot brownie, or the second, or the sixth, but after the whole pan, you didn't die so much as you were reverse-born, absorbed back into your mother's womb but instead of in a hospital room you were in a blade of grass and instead of a doctor it was the devil and he was stuffing you back into your mother like how one might stuff a turkey

ISFJ: You accidentally got mistaken for a tv celebrity at the gas station, but unfortunately that tv show was "FBI's Most Wanted" and now you're a year into your stint on death row and you think it's too awkward to say anything now

ESFJ: You didn't tell anyone you got bitten by one of the zombies because you didn't want to worry anyone but it's like..... you're now scooping brain out of the group leader's head like meat from a coconut so I guess you can say we're just a tad worried anyway

ISTJ: Peacefully, in your sleep, at the ripe old age of 27. Shouldn't have stressed yourself out so much with all that extra work you took on. Post-mortem exam shows you're biologically 83

ESTJ: After working around the clock on the same project for six years, you finally burned yourself out. Your family can still hear you screech as you ran into the woods. You might not even be dead, you might still be out there. Wandering

ISFP: Got eaten on a friggin mountain by ISTP

ESFP: You know how monster trucks can do all those jumps and tricks and the driver is still fine? Well, it isn't the same with your 2005 Honda sedan and you're definitely not fine

ISTP: Your plane crashed into smoldering wreckage in a remote mountain range. Oh, you didn't die though. From the plane crash. You died of kuru after survival instincts drove you to eat the few other survivors in your party.

ESTP: You made your pool 1 foot deeper so that you could jump in from the top of your garage roof. Too bad you should've made your roof 1 foot thicker too because you fell straight through and ate shit