I went home around 10:30pm. James and I went to round 93!! Then we just like died and pissed both of us off. It was awesome.... Not really.. Then we just laughed it off and then I went home...
Then my brain started to think back.. I did tell Amy it was okay. I let her take me into the room and have sex with me. BUT! I did tell her to stop. I just wanted to get sick.. How am I going to tell Ralph? Tell him after we had sex that I went off and fucked Amy.. I cannot loose Ralph. That cannot happen.
I avoided him this moring. I told him I woke up late. It was just a matter of time before Ralph finds out.. Who knows how many people know. Amy was always known for that big fucking mouth of hers..
I watched the clock tick away. I was in math class. Next class was history and Ralph will be in there. Then I heard whispering behind me. It was one of Amy's bitchy friends talking to another bitchy friend. God I hate cheerleaders...
"So did you hear Amy lost her viginity?"
"What?! No!"
"Welll..." She was about to explain but I cut in.
"Shut your slutly ass mouth now bitch. You do not need to be airing out someone else's business." I said with the death glare. I knew how to deal with these type of little girls. After being in a relationship with Amy.. The biggest bitch in the school you tend to pick up on the bitch ways of life..
"But out Jamie!"
"Its my business that you are talking about. So shut the fuck up or I'll have Amy cut you off the team."
"It is a free country. I can talk about anything I want. You can't do that. Amy loves me."
"Watch me. Remeber that information in your head. Who do you think loves who more." I said with a smart ass look.
She shut her mouth and smiled real wide. Then looked at her friend.
"Sorry Jessica I guess you will have to hear it from Amy." She said and truned around and did her work. I turned back around. I may have stopped her but who else knows. Who did Amy tell and who did they tell. I put my head down.
Who told Ralph before I can explain..
Then the bell rang and pratically ran to class. Ralph was already waiting but he did not look at me. I walked up to his desk and he still did not look up at me. My heart started to pound inside my chest. I felt the sweat prickle down my neck. My stomach began to turn inside out.
"Why did you do it Jamie." HE looked up and tears were streaming down his face.
"It's not what you think Ralph."
"It sure the hell does! You had sex with Amy!"
I did not say anything at first. I had to pick my words carefully. One mistake and I could loose him forever.
"That is what I thought. Good bye Jamie.." He said and his old tears were replaced with new ones.
"Ralph I told her no!" I shouted.
"Ha! How do you think I am going to beleive that!?"
"I can't.. You just have to trust me. That I would think you would have understand rape."
That shocked Ralph a little. My words had to have to sting. They may have but that may have just saved my relationship with my Ralph.
"I live with her. You went over to her house without a thought." He said with anger ripping through his face.
"You know why I had too." I spat.
"Why Jamie?" He returned.
"You know!" I yelled.
Then the classroom began to fill up and the kids were begining to stare. Making us stop fighting. For me it was to reasons really. One people wonder why I am fighting with the gay kid. When really in turn he is my boyfriend. Two it is none of their business to gget into my relationship fights.
I think for Ralp it was just the second one...
"We will finish this after school." He said and the ice hit me cold in the face.
I stormed off to my seat. I know it was wrong to go over to her house but I had too or this hole thing with Ralph could never work. I know this is not fair to Amy or Ralph. I know that..
But!
If it come down to Amy or Ralph. I will do anything for Ralph. I love him. Then the class filled up completely and our teacher began going on about Hitler but all I can think about is Ralph. All I did was stare at him. Praying inside that he will forgive me. Please please Ralph I am sorry.
Then the bell rang. Ralph got up from his seat quickly and ran out the door. Oh how I wanted to ran after him but I did not.
****
School dragged on for what seemed like hours. As soon as the last bell rang I ran to my locker. I gradded my math homework and ran outside of the school waiting for Ralph. He was lending against the building as the kids around him walked past him. One leg was on the school and the other on the ground.
His longer red hair covered his face. I cigarette hanging out of his mouth. Not really sure when he started smoking... I quickly walking up to him. He did not notice me at first. I went to say something but he held out his hand.
"Better wait you do not want people finding out!" He said and I could feel thd heat of his anger.
He did. He made me wait until we were the only two people at the school. He took one last drag on his cigarette and blew out the smoke. He flicked away the but and stepped on it and looked up at me. The pain still ripping through his eyes.
"What do you have to say." He stated.
I opened my mouth but the words would not come out. So I opened my mouth again but still nothing. We stayed silent for a good 10 minutes. The Ralph nodded.
"I thought so. Good bye Jamie. Don't worry your secert is safe with me." He scoffed and truned to leave.
Then everything came down. My heart shattered inside me. I grabbed his arm tight and did not let go. He tried to pull free but I did not let him.
"I know it was a bad idea. I know. She left me with no other choice. I told her to stop. She did not listen." I began and tears were running down my face.
"Ralph. You are the only person I love." I ended.
He yanked his arm away but his eyes were now tearing up.
"I want to believe you Jamie.. Take it from myside." He said.
"I know.. I'm sorry Ralph. I will do anything to make it up to you. Name it." I said and got on my knees.
Ralph sat there and though for a moment. Then he looked into my eyes.
"Break up with Amy." He said.
"Done." I said without a thought.
He looked up at me in surprise. "Really?" He asked.
"I saiad anything." I got up off of my knees.
Then Ralph kissed my forehead. "Prove it then." He said and walked away.
I have been given a second chance. I ran to my car and drove home. How do I break up with her? I never broken up with anyone before. Well James said never break up over a text message. Only if you have been dating for only a week and you have not developed any feeling.
So I have to do this in person. Four years... This is going to go well...
When I reached my house. I raced up to my room. I shut my door and pased around my room. My heart was racing and I started to sweat a little. I was excited. I never have to deal with Amy ever again. So I need to pratice.
I looked at my mirror.
"Amy.. I know we have been together for almost four years but....."
No that sounds to nice. For what happen I want it to sound meaner.
"Bitch I can't stand you. Get the fuck out of my life! You ruin everything! Goood bye bitch!"
That will work. Noooooo. I can't sound like a total dick. I mean I did lead her on for almost four years! Then started cheating on her with Ralph and then that whole mess happened.
"Amy... I know this is going to hurt but this is not working out for me anymore. I just don't feel anything.."
Perfect. Well to me it is a perfect balance of mean and nice. That will work. This is going to be big what should I wear? I walk over to my closet and look through my clothes. I pick out dark jean. Like always but what should go with it? Hummz... I shuffle through my clothes.
Long sleeves? Noooo..
Short sleeves? Maybe.. With a flannel? Oh what color!?
I go with a teal flannel that is short sleeved and matching blue undershirt. That should do it. Then I look at the time. Oh fuck I have football in an hour!
I hurry and ditch my school clothes and throw on shorts and a cut off t shirt and run down stairs. Mom hands me a banana and chuckles. I tell her thanks and run to my car. I pretty much fly to football pratice.
Thank god! I only showed up 30 seconds late! Then coach makes us run laps. I ran around the field a million time but it was only 6 laps today. Luckly I did not have to run an extra one today. After we were done running laps coach called us in for a huddle.
"We are going against the Bull dogs next week boys!!! You know what that means!?" He asked with a smirk and evil eyes but was really happy all at the same time.
"Pratice all next week!" We all groaned with our deeps voices humming.
"That's right! NOw drop and give me 20!!" He yelled and we all did as we were told. This is going to be a loong pratice.. My god this is killing me..
***
After pratice my arms were pounding. My whole body screaming at me to quite. I sprayed water all in my face The water mixed with the sweat beating off my heated face. I shake off the rest of the water of of my face. Like a dog after you give it a bath. I walked to my car and drove home.
"How was pratice?" My mother asked with a kind smile.
"Tirinig!!" I said and groaned.
She chuckled. "Your dinner is in the oven if you want it sweetie."
"Thanks mom." I said and went into the kitchen.
I took out the chicken and french fries and ate slowly. Enjoying the taste. When I was finished. I put my plate in the sink and washed it and put it away. I told my mom good night and I went up stairs.
I was so tired but I cannot sleep sweaty. I just cannot do that. So I gradded boxers and processed the bathroom. I turned on the hot water and stripped off my clothing. I threw them in the hamper. I jumpped in the shower and washed my hair and body. All in my axe soaps. I smell like a hot man whore!
I truned off the water and jumped out. I dried off and put on my boxers and brushed my teeth. Then I exited the bathroom and went back into my room. There was no miss call from Ralph when I returned..
I felt a litt;e hurt but I really had not right too... I put him through enough pain. My voice would just make it worse.. So I just crawled under my sheets but soon I heard my phone go off. I quickly anwser Ralph without thinking.
"I may be pissed at you but I cannot sleep without hearing your voice." He said.
"I'm sorry." My quivering voice giving away to tears.
He exhaled really loud. "I know you are..." He said.
"Good night. I love you." I cried into the phone softly.
"Good night Jamie. I love you too." He said.
Then I fell into a deep sleep. My body giving away. I slipped into dreamland. I wonder what tomorrow will be like?...
