The Lowest of Lows

3

How did she get here before me? Why is this happening? My world crashed, my heart sank. Everything spun and blurred around me. It all became red. Not only did she hurt me last night; here she is now standing before me digging the cold knife, that had made its deadly presence, further into my heart, chilling me to the core. As I stared at them, I saw them practically glowing in the light of everyone's eyes on them. I felt my blood run cold. It felt as if I was stuck to the ground. I want to scream, run, anything, but I stood still as Claire made eye contact with me. A sneer made its way to her lips. I shook my head. Of course this is how everything will go, this is how the pieces fall. With me back at the bottom and Claire rising to unseen heights. Turning, I ran into a group of people. I looked around, there were people everywhere; they seemed to be suffocating me. I was drowning not only by these people, but I was drowning from everything I have held back since last night. It all came out in a flow of tears. I couldn't stop. The world became blurry and dizzy as I forced my way through the people that have caused me this grief and despair.

Wow that was morbid.

The ringing of the bell didn't disturb my coma of feelings. It wasn't the wake up call I so desperately needed. The world seemed numb. I was numb.

~

The school day flew by in a blur of whispers and silent sobs. I knew this isn't just about Claire, but all of it seemed to be broken by her. Everywhere I turned there she was causing another dam of emotions to break leaving me broken and confused. Why am I like this? Nothing was ever this bad in Seattle. Everything was so... perfect there. As I made my way to the last challenge of only one day of my new life, I felt everything wash off in a river of tranquillity that somehow found its way into my mind. The last place to go was the library. I helped there as much as I could. I don't know, but every library I go to seems to help me in some way. From offering me any calming book to a research book for a project I am doing on the last day I can possibly choose. So, Mrs. Snoutgrout seeing me in the little secluded corner between the horror books and the mystery books was no surprise. I nodded to Mrs. Snoutgrout, and made the path I knew like the back of my hand to the corner that held a chair and my current book. After all the craziness of today, sitting down and forgetting seems so amazing right now... but nothing is that simple. Nothing. So as I made my way to my chair, I saw with great surprise and wonder that a shadow occupied my chair. Great. Even my safe place is ruined. As I approached, the shadow turned quickly as if it could sense my presence, even with its back to me. It reacted as quick as a cat, backing away from me into the corner. It looked like a caged animal. I felt like if I made one wrong move I could be destroyed by this shadow. As I came to it, the shadow seemed to recoil away from me as if I was a monster. My eyes focused on the shadow, and there crouched in the corner was Mute. I don't really know his name. No one does.

"What are you doing here?" His voice was quiet and soft like he was just learning to speak.

"What am I doing here? What are you doing here? This is my chair, my safe place." I saw him cringe at my words. "Look just please leave so I can be alone for a few minutes." A sigh completed my sentence.

"Yeah... yeah... sure. I can do that."

Mute started to gather everything that was surrounding the chair. Books, papers, pencil, and other things I couldn't describe. I turned to look at the other people in the library. No one seemed to even know this little place existed.

" There. No trace of me at all... just like always." The last part was spoken to not be heard, but it reached my ears. Is this how he always is? Mute left with most of his things nearly falling out of his arms. He confuses me. How can he somehow be known by everyone, yet here he is during free period alone in a dark corner with no one but himself? This question forced my brain to stress it. What if I become him? What is I am left like that? Alone. Talking to myself in a dark corner. Just the thought chilled me to the core.