Author's Note:
Hello my loves! How are all of you doing? What did you all think of the last update? What do you think will happen next? I would love to hear your predictions after you read this update. Please do not forget that i love you all deeply and you all mean the world to me. Thank you! Thank you! xoxo
P.S: What songs do you think may fit this story?
Harry's POV
I walk across the courtyard with my hands shoved into the leather pockets of my jacket, my ears plugged with my earphones with my hood over my head. I can feel the permanent scowl on my face, etched between my brows. I can tell it's there by the tensed up muscles on my face but also by the people I walk by that give me strange looks. How is it possible that they can all judge so quickly? They don't even know me and that pisses me off even more.
I haven't felt this angry in a while. Honestly, I have had these same anger issues since freshman year, but they began junior year of high school, back in England, when I had to be the man of the house. I had to start behaving a lot older than my age, especially when my family and I moved to America because Dad was always off at work. With everything that happened, I really didn't get the chance to just enjoy my last years of high school. I wasted most of my time on my family, trying my best to keep it together and help make everything feel okay when it wasn't. But now that my mom is gone, I came to the annoying realization that no matter how hard I tried to fix things, nothing changed. Mom still died and Dad's drinking problem escalated. Which is why I let Bailee go.
After Bailee told me about the things she was hiding, granted not in full detail, I panicked. It got me very angry and I couldn't help but envision her as me with a raging intoxicated man, yelling and throwing things at her. I couldn't help but think that at the possibility of having diner with my dad, he will end up getting drunk and trigger awful memories. I can't put her through that. Besides, why should I waste so much time and effort on someone if they will not stay? My mother didn't so what makes me think that Bailee would? Besides, what can I even give her anyways if I have no idea who I even am.
But, I do hate feeling this way. As much as I hate to admit,Bailee made me feel normal, like I have never been broken in the first place and I wish I could go back to that. However, being the person that I am, I can't allow it. It's a very confusing subject but hopefully with time it'll just get easier.
Casually glancing up, I spot Niall and Lexi near the parking lot talking to Bailee. At first, I feel my heart skip and my feet automatically come to a stop as I watch her speak. Almost in an unthinking motion, I press the small button on my earphones to stop the music playing into my ears just to increase the almost nonexistent chance at hearing her voice. However, then I see Peter beside her,waving his hands about in the air as he spoke and my scowl deepens.
"Of course we will come. We can meet here at six- thirty." I hear Niall say to whatever they were talking about."
"Yeah, it'll be fun." Lexi pitches in, her hand wrapped around her boyfriend's, and my best friend's, arm
"Oh, thank you." Bailee smiles quickly giving them both a brief hug before exchanging goodbyes.
I watch with intense glaring eyes as she walked with Peter towards his car; each step they took made my breathing become heavier and I have half a mind to go over and punch him in the face even if he didn't do anything to me. Frankly though, I feel too pissed of at the world and life to even care that he did anything to me or not, his face would make a lovely punching bag. Besides, he owes me for a lot of shit.
"What did she want?" I ask both Niall and Lexi as I approach behind them, my voice sounding harsher than I intended. They both turn to look at me and Lexi immediately scowls at me.
"None of your business." She replies and I scowl back at her.
What the hell is her issue?
"She was just asking if we were planning to go to the game tonight. "
"The games are stupid." I scoff before stepping away from them without saying a goodbye. Although, it didn't take long until Lexi came after me to speak her mind.
"Harry what the hell is going on with you?" She demands, quickening her pace to keep up with me. "How could you hurt Bailee this way?"
"It's better this way, Lex. Now drop it."
"No." She counters, gripping my elbow turning me around to face her. "What is going on with you? Why are you being such an asshole? Did something happen at home?"
I jerk my head back. "What? What makes you think I'm like this because something happened? Lexi, I have always been like this."
"No you haven't. You have been getting better. " She scolds while pushing her hair away from her face after a small breeze of air sweep through. "How could you do this? Bailee really likes you."
"Ha!" I bark out a laugh. "Likes me? Hello! She does not like me. She is with fucking Peter!" I shout at her, gesturing my arm out as Peter's car leaves the parking lot.
"Harry, she told you what happened to her and you-"
"Yes,she told me." I nod, my voice much calmer than before. "It also made me realize that I am no good for her. I have done bad shit and you know it."
"Tell me Lexi, what will happen when she realizes that my dad is a fucked up drunk?" I question, taking a step forward, glaring down at her. " What will happen when she realizes that I used to be a fucked up drunk too? That I used to go out and fuck girls and share them with Peter because I would say they were good in bed."
"What will happen when I tell her that I did all that shit because Peter fucked Ashley when I was dating her, the first girl I have ever loved, and broke my heart? What will happen when I tell her that the only reason why I fucked all those girls was because I wanted to feel like someone actually wanted me." I swallow, feeling slightly out of breath, my jaw clenched and lips pulled into a tight line. Lexi stares at me with her brows pulled together and lips slightly parted; a hint of sympathy in her face.
"What will happen when she sees that I am nothing but a damn screw up to my father, with no future because I am stubborn on wanting to paint rather then getting a fucking real job!" I angrily continue, briefly tugging at the roots of my hair under my hood.
'She will fucking leave." I hiss through gritted teeth. "Bailee is too good for me and I don't want to ruin her. I don't want to be one of her bad dreams."
"Listen to me." Lexi pleas, reaching out to grasp one of my hands. "Bailee won't leave you. She isn't like that. Not everyone is going to hurt you. Just because you had a bad experience doesn't mean all girls will do the same."
"It doesn't matter anyways." I say looking down at the ground. "She is with Peter despite my hate towards him."
A moment of silence passes between us and then, being the sick bastard that I am, an idea pops into my head.
"You know what, I'm going to go home to get ready for tonight's game." I say as I turn around to walk away. "Tell Niall,I'll be joining you guys."
I impatiently tap my boot against the fancy polished floor of my dad's living room, currently sitting on the couch, while waiting for Gemma to finish getting ready. I swear if she doesn't hurry up I am going to leave her.
