I gulped, and twisted my long red hair.
It was obvious David loved Nattie more than me...What would he think that I pushed her to the point of suicide...And attempted murder?
I guess we could finally leave this train, though.
Been there, done that.
Twice.
.
On my way to tell David that I was honestly and truly, a horrible person who deserved to die, I bumped into a girl with curly dyed blonde hair.
Jami.
"Hey watch where you're going!" She shouted, and then looked up at me. "Maryssa?" She asked, looking amazed at me. I nodded. "Yeah. By the way, why are you still living here? You've earned your freedom like a year ago..."
She shrugged. "I want to. By the way, there's a dude named David. And he loves you."
I looked down. "No, he doesn't. He loves Nattie."
Her face turned into a grimace. "Eww, Nattie. I hate her."
"It's okay." I said in an understanding voice. "I hate myself too, because she's also a reflection of what I wish I could be."
Jami looked up at me like I was insane. I corrected myself. "I mean, she WAS a reflection. Was, as in past tense. I killed her."
The girl's eyes grew wide, and she hugged me tighter than ever before. "I LOVE YOU MARYSSA!" She wrote my name down on a paper, and it said,
"Marissa is AWESOME!" She threw it up in the air. I smiled, but told her,
"You spelled my name wrong."
"It's okay. People are always spelling my name wrong."
I guess that makes sense.
"I'm not awesome, though. How could you think that? I murdered your old best friend. You don't understand how much she truly loved you." I looked at her grimly.
She shrugged yet again. "I don't really care. She annoyed me more than anything."
Oh. I get it now.
I took a deep breath.
"I understand. Annoyance is very painful. But you know what's more painful? Being excluded. Teased, made fun of. Gossipped about. Being unloved by the person who you truly love. That pain is excrusiating."
She looked down sadly.
Ever since I realized Numbing was simply just a cover up for emotional pain, I've started feeling it again. All of it. Sometimes, more than I used to.
Now was one of those times.
I felt anger. TRUE anger towards Jami for trying to kill someone as sweet as Nattie.
Not that I had much room to talk.
I didn't hate her, though.
She was most DEFINETELY, NOT a reflection of what I wish I could be.
I couldn't control myself, and punched her with all of my might.
"OWW!" She screamed out. "What the heck, Maryssa?!"
I sighed. "Sorry, it's just I really needed to- Wait...That hurt you..?"
Jami rubbed her arm. "Well, OBVIOUSLY it hurt, you little-"
Then she knew I knew.
"I mean, um....It DIDN'T hurt, it's just....It would if....If...If I wasn't..."
Too late.
The damage was done.
"You haven't been Numbed, have you." It was a statement, not a question.
"I-"
I took her by the arm, and led her into the Numbing room.
"Jami, you're getting Numbed."
"But-"
"By me."
