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The 5 Stages of Grief (DABDA) After a Break-up

The 5 stages of Grief (DABDA) After a Break-Up

1. Denial

This is the time when you say “It isn’t over yet.”

The time when you continuously keep on doing the things you, as a couple, used to do. The time when you refuse to accept that the relationship has already ended. You still try to talk to him as if nothing happened. This is also the time you hope that everything is just a misunderstanding which will surely get fixed in no time.

2. Anger

This can also be called the “bitterness” stage.

This is the time when you’re just angry at the world for even the littlest of reasons. The time when you just want to throw things at walls or smash the face of the woman you saw him with even if it was just his friend.

This is also the time when you feel“bitter”when you see cute couples or the time when you believe love can’t ever exist again. 

This stage is heightened if the love of your life did something you did not like or is the one at fault for ending the relationship.Example: he cheated.

3. Bargaining 

This stage can be characterized by the time that you pray to a Supreme Being to return the love of your life. Or the time when you promise“I’ll be good”or“I’ll study harder”in exchange for the relationship to be okay again.

If it was your fault that it ended, you pray and tell yourself that you'll change just so things can go back to the way it was.

4. Depression

This is the time when all you can do is think about your past relationship.

The time when you can’t eat or you over eat to cope up with your depression. This is the time when you cry a lot and refuse to socialize with other people and just listen to sad songs all of the time. This may be the most difficult part but it is considered as the start of moving-on.

This stage differs in length for people. Some people go through this quickly while it takes some years. Some don't even move on at all.

This is also a very critical part for this is where extremes happen (suicide, attempted suicide, rebellion, etc)

5. Acceptance

This is the stage where you accept that the relationship truly is over.

When you have accepted the reality that you are now single, it means that you are making progress on the process of moving-on. You try to pick-up the pieces of your broken heart. You try to go out with your friends again. You try and find your own happiness again.

Congratulations for being able to cope with the stress of the break-up. Remember that you do not need him to be happy. You have existed *insert your age here*years without him and you will not die just because he’s not in your life anymore.

My advice during this stage: make yourself busy. Involve yourself in your school's organization, try a new hobby, find a new sport, do arts and crafts and so much more! Remember that they say time heals all wounds. If you're busy, you do not notice the passing of time. Plus, there's a chance that you find a new love.

What I mean by this is that you may fall in love with your newfound hobby. Or you may meet someone new just because you've joined new circles.

This is what happened to me, my dear readers. The year 2012 was a bad year for me when it came to relationships. It was the year I graduated college. After college, I was very busy because of our licensure exams. But after that, I found myself back at the depression stage because after the board exams, there was nothing to do!

So what I did was to read books. Tons and tons of books. I finished 1-2 books per day. When I got tired of that, I tried writing. So I joined Wattpad July 2012. I started writing and never stopped ever since. This is my new love and this hobby helped me move on. It made me a better person and made me rise above heartbreak.

And this is why, after everything I've been through (rude comments, haters, the pressure of updates, being accused of stealing someone's story, etc) I am still writing. 

I'll continue writing and I'll never stop because I am head-over-heels in love with this. :)

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Remember that happiness is a state of mind and a choice. It's up to you whether you'll move on, pick up the pieces again and try to function like you did before.

It's your choice if you'll move on or get stuck at listening to sad songs for the rest of your life. :)

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Hope you learned something!

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