Life is Unfair

Prologue

"With you baby, I can do anything. Even if giving up this kind of life." Sinabi niya sa akin habang nagmamaneho.

"But this is wrong! We are wrong! Everything's wrong!!" Nagsusumamo kong sigaw sa kanya. I just can't take this anymore.

Alam kong mali na tong gagawin namin. This would be too much. Kahit naman papaano, ayaw ko pa ring talikuran ang pamilya ko. I love this man but I also love my family.

"I need a break. Tama na Austin. Please..."
 
And I think this is the right thing to do. To let go. To move on afterwards. Mahal na mahal ko ang lalaking 'to pero mali na. May mga desisyon talaga tayong kahit alam na nating masasaktan tayo, gagawin pa rin natin. Because it's the right thing to do. So I need to be firm. I need to be strong.
 
"No Alex. Please. Noooo..."

Hindi niya alam kung saan siya titingin, kung sa akin ba o sa daan. Pero konting pagmamakaawa na lang niya talaga, bibigay na ako. I need to do this quickly. For us. This is for us.

"I-I think I'm not yet ready. I'm sorry. But this is wrong Aust!  Cant you see it? Our family will get worried. They'll get hurt. And I just can't.."

Di ko alam kung pano ko siya pipigilan. Buo na talaga ang loob niya na. Pero salungat ito at ako. I need to do this. I must. Bigla niyang inihinto ang sasakyan. Hinampas niya ang manibela bago tumingin sa akin.

"Pero mahal kita Alex! Sh*t! Mahal na mahal kita! At wala akong pakelam sa kanila. Kung ayaw ka nila para sa akin, wala akong pake! I love you ok? Magtatrabaho ako para sa atin, sa magiging pamilya natin. I will never let you feel you are unworthy. Because I love you baby. I love you so much. Kaya sumama ka na sa akin... Please... "

Bigla niya akong hinawakan sa braso. Pero hinawi ko ito. Namutla siya nung tinignan ko siya.

"Open the door Austin."

This is it. This is my decision. And I am very sorry for him. For us. But God knows that I truly and purely love this man.

"No.. No Alex. Please." Pagmamakaawa niya sa akin. At pilit pa din niya akong hinahawakan. But I insist not to let him.

"Akala ko ba gusto mong ipaglaban kita?! Pinaglalaban naman na kita ah? I just- I just dont wanna lose you baby. Please... " Ngayon umiiyak na siya. God! This is too much. The strong man I knew is crying in front of me because of me. I'm sorry baby. Never in my life I've imagine myself making the love of my life cry. But I need to make him understand.

"Oo! Gusto kong ipaglaban mo ako! Pero this is all wrong. The way you fight for me is wrong. Please... Just open the door. Let's stop this. Please. This love is toxic."

At hindi ko na nga napigilang bumuhos ang luha ko. Naalala ko lahat. Ang saya naming dalawa pag magkasama. Yung lambingan. Yung asaran namin. Yung pagsundo niya sa akin. Yung pakikipagkulitan niya sa family ko.Everything. And now because of his family... Ganto na ang nangyayari sa amin...

"I love you baby. Isn't enough? I will fight for you. Just please let me prove myself to you."

Yes baby. I know. I can feel it. Pero this is not yet the right time. The world is against us. The life itself is not letting us happen. I'm sorry baby. But I love you so much. I never thought this day will come.

"In this way? My God Austin. Tama na. Pagod na Pagod na ako. Sawang sawa na ako. Maybe... Maybe.."

"Do you love me? Do you still love me? Huh? Alex?"

I thought our love could save us. Akala ko love conquers everything? Akala ko masaya na ako? Akala ko ok na?  But why do we have to go through this? Why is life so unfair?

"Answer me Alex!"