Resolution

66. I Need You

"There's a reason, after all, all these things that I have done."

Song: I Need You

Artist: M83

"Okay?" Harry repeated cautiously. His eyes were wide and hopeful but still holding back in fear he had heard wrong. My cheek was still warmed by his palm that held me to him while my arms stayed locked around his neck. I could feel his heart pounding through his chest, the heightened pace matching my own.

"Okay," I said, a gasp of disbelieving laughter blowing through my lips. I couldn't help but laugh: there was almost no positive way for this to end, but I couldn't help it. I needed him. He echoed me, a ghost of a smile flitting across his lips before he ducked forward to reconnect our mouths in a kiss. His arm behind my back tightened as he hugged me to him, kissing me firmly as if to make sure all this was actually real.

It was as if the entire world fell away when he kissed me. Everything I had worried about disappeared as I lost myself in Harry and the feel of his lips against mine. All that mattered was feeling his warmth and the beat of his heart and the how safe he made me feel when he held me. It was everything I had ached for, everything that I had lost, and everything I needed.

When he pulled back, he rested his forehead against mine once more. His eyes were closed as he blew out a soft, still uneven breath. My heart gave a painful pang as I realized that I'd been gone far longer than a typical trip to the bathroom warranted. Ben would be coming for me any second now.

"I have to go back," I said. He shook his head slowly, his eyes opening to meet mine the short distance away.

"No," he said simply. My fingers tangled helplessly in the hair at the back of his head as if begging me to stay with him. I could feel the desperate tension lingering in both of our bodies. Now that we had finally been reunited, it would hurt even more to tear us apart again. My mind, body, soul, everything really, ached to be near him again and never leave. I wanted to curl into his side and let him throw his arm around me so I could rest my head on his shoulder and listen to the steady thump of his heart. I wanted to go back to the world where nothing else mattered but Harry and I. I wanted to shut the rest of the world out forever and be with him.

But I couldn't do those things. I still had the massive problem of Ben. I couldn't just run away with Harry now, no matter how much I wanted to. The fact remained that Ben was lurking in the same building, his patience surely growing more and more thin as he waited for me to return. His threat to harm Harry remained just as real as ever. Just because I'd been too weak to stay away from Harry didn't change anything; I still had to keep him safe, just with a new plan.

A knot twisted in my stomach at the thought of, essentially, starting back at square one. My first plan had failed miserably, nearly killing Harry and myself in the process, and we had still accomplished nothing. Harry was safe, for now, but I'd just agreed to come back to him and put him in danger once more.

"Harry, I have to go. He can't find me with you," I said. I attempted to pull myself away from him but my muscles screamed in protest, refusing to move and allow me to leave.

"Let him, I don't care," he said fiercely. His eyes blazed a bright green, his gaze determined and strong. It was clear that he wasn't afraid of Ben even though I was terrified.

"But I care," I said. I needed him to understand. "He'll hurt you. Kill you if he can."

"He won't kill me," Harry scoffed. His hand dropped from my face only to wind around my back like his other. He hugged me tightly against him.

"He will! Either he will or one of his friends will," I said. Terror was starting to creep through me again as the words brought back the severity and reality of the threats he'd issued. My body began to feel panicky and jittery, like I needed to get away from Harry as fast as possible before he found us.