If I close my eyes

Jake. Again.

Just after I take my medicine ( all ten pills) I go straight to bed. As soon as my head hits the pillow I'm out. I didn't have any dreams, at least not that I can remember.

When I wake up my mom is sitting on the edge of the bed. She is wearing her bright yellow apron over her black tee shirt. She must've baked something. I sit up an take a big sniff. She baked more than one thing so I can't tell what she made.

"Hi honey" she says. ". I've baked some cookies and cupcakes for you. Also, you have some company."

"Oh," I say still a little sleepy.

I go and sit on the couch still in my 'jamas. U get the remote and turn on the tv. Then I realize that someone else is here with me. I look over to the other side of the couch and there sits Jake. He's just looking at me. and smiling.

"Good morning sunshine," he laughs, " do you know what time it is?"

"Like eight?" I ask as normal as possible.

"Haha, no it's almost ten!" He keeps laughing knowing I'm still tired.

" Well then why aren't you at school?" I ask suspiciously.

" Uh, yeah, about that. I decided to ditch. So you had someone to hang out with."

"Oh" is all I can manage to get out.

Jake Myers wants to hang out with Jenna Beth? How did this happen? All because of stupid cancer?

After a while of asking stupid questions and getting to know each other I feel I'm falling in love with him. I don't know why I feel this way but I do. But I know he couldn't feel the same way. There was no way in hell he could!! I mean there has to be better options than me!! Right? There are WAY prettier girls than me with WAY better personalities!! Then my mom decided that she needed to go to the store and told us to help ourselves to whatever.

Now I'm ALONE with JAKE and have no clue what to do!! He stands up and sits closer to me. WHAT IS HE DOING I FEEL LIKE IMMA HAVE A HEART ATTACK! All he does is keep looking at me and I can't help but smile and look back. WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON!!!? UGH!

Soon he leans in and starts to close his eyes and I do the same out of panic.  Then...... he kisses me!!!! HE KISSED ME!!! Like me of all people! Then we stop and he looks at me.

" It wasn't bad was it?"

"No,  actually, it was wonderful. It was also my first." I say as I feel my cheeks get hot.

"Oh," he says as he starts to blush too.

We just sit there like that for who knows how long. Just sit there and look into each others eyes. Then I say,

" well I still need to get a shower so if you'd like you can eat some cupcakes or cookies or whatever and you can also Change the channel."

"Ok," he says as I walk away.

I CANT BELIEVE THIS JUST HAPPENED!!!!!!! There wasn't anything between us. EVER! How did this happen ?? I've asked myself this too many times but I just need to know how!

I'm not pretty. I'm not popular. I'm a nobody. How could he just... kiss me? I walk into the bathroom and lock the door behind me.

As I shower I think of all the possible ways to keep him interested. Or maybe that was just out of sympathy? Cause you sure as hell cant forget the fact that I have brain cancer. Ugh this is so HARD! Does he like me or does he want to make me feel better?