No One is Happy with This (Undertale)

41 ~ One Harsh Truth

You look at Toriel for a long moment. This could go one of two ways- she could have some question about modern human culture that she does not understand, something simple and easy and a little bit funny...

Or she could have a legitimately serious question.

Only one way to find out, you guess.

"Okay, what is it?"

Toriel opens her mouth, and immediately you can tell it's the latter of the two kinds. "Alphys and Undyne told me the story of what happened with the... the Void. They said a person came out before Gaster, and... and you called them by a very specific name."

You let out a small breath. "Yeah. Chara."

Toriel flinches just a little. You suppose that's to be expected, as you are talking about her dead child.

"But-... But Chara is dead." She insists. "How could they possibly come from the Void?"

You glance at Gaster. His face is blank, his single, undamaged eye staring at you. Of course you're not going to get any help from him; did you really expect it?

So you take a deep breath, and start to explain as best you can.

"Chara... Like me, was a Determined Soul. I-... I don't know exactly why, but-... I think, for some reason, after-... After Asriel absorbed their Soul, they weren't able to reset anymore. If-... if they ever were able to in the first place- I honestly don't know. But-... When Asriel- died-... I guess they were too determined to let go? Except their Soul was gone. So-... I guess their consciousness slipped into the Void? I-... I don't really know."

For a moment, there's silence. You notice Toriel is looking down, her hands folded in her lap. Then, slowly, she says, "But that still leaves one question... Frisk, how did you know it was Chara?"

You suck in a small breath. How can you tell Toriel that, in one timeline you saw Chara? That, in one timeline, you heard their voice, whispering in your head, urging on your violence? That, in one timeline, you gave them your hands, your feet, and almost your Soul?

Toriel notices your expression. Everyone does.

"Well, human?" Gaster asks, after a long moment of silence. He knows, you're sure. There's no way he couldn't know; he said he could see all the timelines.

He just wants you to say it out loud so that he can prove humans are horrible, violent beings.

And he's right. You haven't got much of a choice. You have no excuse, no convincing enough lie to answer the question, nothing.

So you sigh, your shoulders slumping, and you look at your hands.

"You remember," you say softly, "how I told you about all the timelines, how I reset a bunch, and how... I wasn't exactly... a pacifist... all the time...?" You don't look up to see if they're following you. You can't bear to meet their eyes. "Um... well... sometimes... when I got more... violent... I-... would hear a voice in the back of my head. Urging me on. Not that that makes it okay!" You quickly add. "I-... I was still hurting people, and regardless of whether or not someone else wanted me to, I was still the one hurting people. And-..." You risk a glance at Gaster. For the most part, his expression is still neutral, but there's just a hint of satisfaction on his face. "And that's not okay. Um... and... one time... I-... I did a really bad thing-... I listened to the voice, let it tell me to kill-... Kill everyone. And-... and I did-... I killed-..." you look at your hands again. "I killed everyone. Every single monster in the Underground. And the more I killed, the louder their voice got, and some moments, they were even controlling my body, the moments where my Determination began to slip, and I had doubts. Then, they-... they kept me going. And-... and when it was all over, when I had gotten past-" you glance at Sans, then look away. "When the Underground was empty, they showed up. They-... They told me that they could bring everyone back, if I just gave them my Soul. And-... they were going to take it-... if I had waited a second longer to reset, I-... I don't think I would have been able to reset. So that's-... that's, uh, how I've seen Chara."

You stay looking at your hands for a long time. You don't even look up when something wet falls off your face onto your hands.

Finally, "Frisk... my child... why did you not tell us...?"

The answer tumbles from your mouth so abruptly, it even surprises you a little, as you finally look up to the faces around you. "Because I didn't want you knowing that I'd killed you all! That I'm a murderer! Because if I'm a murderer, then that means- that means Gaster is right, and-- and I- I'm just--... just like every other f-filthy human, e-every single other d-dirty brother killer i-in the world-- and- and h-humans are just-- evil-- a-and I- I'm t-the w-worst o-of them--"

Not surprisingly, it's Papyrus who speaks up. "No, you're not! Because you went back and fixed your mistake, and now we're all on the surface because of you!"

You look up at him, your vision blurred by tears. "But t-that's only because I c-c-can reset-- a-and if I c-couldn't-- t-then--"

"It just means you were lucky enough to have a chance to fix a mistake most people don't get the chance to! And the fact that you feel really bad about it means that you don't think it was right, and you're a good person for thinking a bad thing is bad!"

"But," Gaster cuts in, "that doesn't excuse the fact that you committed genocide. Just because you can go back doesn't mean that killing monsters is okay."

It doesn't matter how true his words are, how much you've prepared yourself for them. They still hurt.

You just nod mutely, tears dripping down your face. You're an awful person. You never should have done that. You're not above the consequences, and that's the harsh truth.

"-doesn't mean that we can just excuse it!" Gaster's voice pulls you out of your thoughts. "Toriel, they killed countless monsters, and you just want to let them go?"

"Yes they did something bad," Toriel argues, "but in the end, they made up for it. Everything lost was returned, and we are all here, on the surface. They clearly regret their decision, and they're not going to do it again."

Gaster begins to argue, but Papyrus reaches out and sets a hand on his arm. "Dad. Frisk freed us all from the Underground with mercy and kindness. Maybe-... Maybe, we can be merciful to them, and forgive them?"

Gaster looks furious. There's anger burning in his eyes, a hatred you didn't know monsters were capable of.

But after a moment, he stands up, the legs of his chair scraping against the floor as he pushes it back. And then, without a word, he turns and strides away.

Sans and Papyrus are immediately on their feet, following him, Sans only leaving a small "don't worry, we'll talk to him" as he slips out the door.

And then you're left with Toriel.

She just sighs. "Frisk, I do wish you had told me about this sooner. I-... Gaster is right, what you did is not okay. But you are a good child, and you can be forgiven! Do you understand?"

You just nod. Monsters are so kind, too kind for their own good.

You burst out sobbing, and get up to run to Toriel. She just hugs you, running a large paw through your hair. "It's okay, my child. Everything will be okay."

But you have your doubts.

§

A/N

I dunno why this chapter took so long to write. It was really hard for some reason.

Anyway, thanks for reading, and I hope you enjoyed it! Comments and votes are my Favorite Things, and every notification I get makes my day!