Wrong Number? (Klance)

3. I was almost killed by an elf: Storytime

Quick disclaimer! I use she/her pronouns for Pidge because I view her as a girl. I don't mean to offend anyone who sees her as trans or nonbinary. Have a good day and pls continue :)

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Today 1:54 PM

sharpshooter27: It's time

mulletboy: What?

mulletboy: What's going on?

mulletboy: Lance?

sharpshooter27 has added smidgen_pidgeon to the chat

sharpshooter27 has added mozarellastickz to the  chat

sharpshooter27: keef meet gremlin, gremlin meet keef

smidgen_pidgeon: who tf are you calling a gremlin

mulletboy: Who is this little boy?

smidgen_pidgeon: I AM A FULL GROWN FEMALE

sharpshooter27: if your full grown then I must be freakishly tall

mulletboy: You're*

smidgen_pidgeon: you're*

mulletboy: I might be able to accept this little boy.

smidgen_pidgeon: touché

sharpshooter27: was my insult weak why did you not react I need to take notes

smidgen_pidgeon: yeah

mulletboy: It was pretty weak.

sharpshooter27: :/

mulletboy: :|

smidgen_pidgeon: :)

mulletboy: Just to be clear how tall are you guys.

sharpshooter27: 6 feet exactLLY

smidgen_pidgeon: lies you've been 5'11 for a year now.

sharpshooter27: and you've been 4'11 for longer :)

smidgen_pidgeon: INCORRECT I AM 5 AND THREE QUARTERS ALMOST 5'1

sharpshooter27: LIER

mulletboy: I guess I am the middle child.

mulletboy: I'm not that tall I'm only 5'8.

smidgen_pidgeon: Keef

mulletboy: It's Keith actually.

smidgen_pidgeon: Keith,

smidgen_pidgeon: Keith,,

smidgen_pidgeon: You are DAMN LUCKY YOU ARE "ONLY" 5'8 THERE ARE TOO MANY TALL PEOPLE THAY THINK THEYRE SHORT WHEN THEY. ARE. NOT. COMPARED TO ME AND ANYONE UNDER 5'4. DO YOU HAVE TO CLIMB TABLE TOPS TO GET TO CABINETS? DO YOU NEED TO ASK FOR HELP AT GROCERY STORES TO REACH THE TOP SHELF? DO YOU FEEL THE CONSTANT NEED TO VALIDATE YOURSELF BY ADDING 3/4 OF AN INCH TO YOUR HEIGHT? NO. NO YOU DO NOT. So let me make it short and simple so that you understand. Do not EVER complain about your height again or I will find you and beat you with a ruler that I will continue to shove up your ass.