Within the Sins

١٥ Within a Confrontation

انت بتعنيلي كل شي.

Yazid waits outside of Nader and Majed's apartment building. They should be coming home from work soon. As his mind wanders to Raneem, he asks himself why his friends could not have simply admitted to him the truth when he spotted them in bed together. They are some of the only people who have not given up on him just yet. And he would never give up on them, even if they are in a relationship with each other. Sure, it is taboo, scandalous, and simply shameful in this culture, and forbidden in its dominant religion, but he is not a part of this culture, nor is he sure if he even has a religion that he belongs to. The fact of the matter is that he does not like to tell people how to live their lives—not because he cares about equality and whatnot—but rather because he is a man of sin himself.

Loud footsteps reach Yazid's ears, leading him to stand up from the staircase and place his hands in his hoodie. He scratches the back of his head, not quite sure what his intention is tonight. For a fact he knows that he is furious with Nader and Majed, so much so that, after tonight, their friendship will be no more.

The young men reach the third level. Eyeing Yazid, Majed parts his lips. He stares at Yazid for a second or so before mumbling a quick greeting.

Nader, following suit, halts in place. "Yazid."

Yazid stays silent as he watches them carefully. They both suddenly grow tense in his presence.

Majed heads for the door, a click made after the key is inserted in the door.

Majed welcomes Yazid in. Nader follows suit again, and Majed switches the living room lights on. Nader immediately heads to the kitchen while Majed sits on the couch, across from Yazid.

No words are muttered for several minutes, even after Nader rejoins them with refreshments. Yazid puts a hand up, rejecting a cup of juice and a slice of kanafeh.

Yazid bats his eye at the ground. "Let's keep this short." He scratches his leg, eyeing each one of his boys. "I know why you set it up with Raneem, but I don't know how you could think I would ever reveal your relationship to anyone." He rests his palm on his knee as he says this. "I just don't understand what makes you think I would have told anyone when I am literally a loner! Sure, your parents live in the same apartment building my family lives," he says to both young men, "but I am not a part of my family anymore." His palm grows wet at the sound of that: he no longer has a family. Gosh. ". . .and even if I was, I would not have told them. I love you both too much to do that. Besides, I'm no moralizer, shabab."

Nader bites his lip, avoiding eye contact. "You've changed, Yazid."

"What?"

"You have a job, and you moved up the ladder. You don't need us anymore, and that puts us at risk."

Yazid raises his eyebrows.

"Remember Amjad?" Nader continues. "He's locked up now; his own brother ratted him out for using just because his brother moved up the ladder. And I'm sure you know Subhi got into some nasty business that led him to kill his own cousins."

Yazid could not fathom what he was hearing. There was no way these boys actually think he would turn on them. "I'm not them."

"You haven't talked to Moutassem in months," Majed finally says. "You deal with the big boys with your big boy money now. You've graduated from our level, Yazid, and there's no going back. How do we know you aren't plotting against us right now with those guys?"

"Moutassem was bad business to begin with," Yazid defends. "He wasn't trustworthy. He somehow had connections and knew my family." His facial expressions harden as he mutters: "He knew my sisters."