Confessions Of A Single Girl

You know you’ve done it.

Yeah... you know what I mean, don’t you? I’m talking about when you’ve been single, strong and independent for a while. No man around to tell you how to dress, to make him dinner or rule your life for you. Aaah yes, the peaceful evenings spent in the bath tub with music and some whine to take off the edge.

Then it all gets ruined when your best friend gets a boyfriend, or decides to get married. It all seeps in, creating small cracks in your tough exterior. You begin with “I’m so happy for her! She really deserves it...” And then as you drive alone to your home you feel somewhat down.

You say to yourself “Everyone is moving forward, and I’m still stuck here. Alone.” There isn’t anyone else in the world that seems to understand this feeling. So the cracks begin to tear at your very existence. You feel alone and you desperately try not to. A few sad songs get the tears flowing, memories of past lovers and failed relationships bubble to the fragile surface. Yes, I know all about it; those feelings that you fight off every single time when confronted with your personal life.

Being single is a lot of fun, oh yes flirts here... And flirts there... They come and they go. After a while it becomes boring and tedious, a routine you repeat if you have high standards. Strange thing about little flirts are, they never tend to stay.

Yet it never occurred to you that those lovely flirts have girlfriends, or even worse- wives. At that point the limit of possible questions has been reached and you feel guilty at first. Soon you’ll try to justify what happened.

As time passes and after many parties leaving you feeling more down than up, the feelings start to take over and loneliness loves your company. As you come home alone and walk into your bedroom, you start undressing and suddenly catch a glimpse of yourself in the mirror: “Is this me?” You ask yourself with no emotion on the face staring back at you.

Yes it is you.

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