i is for innocence + chloe

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Chloe didn't like surprises. This wasn't to say she didn't like presents on Christmas or her birthday—but the kind of surprises she wasn't expecting? Yeah, she hated those.

        Like the one Dorian Everett ambushed her with last night.

        After that one, Chloe would prefer if she had no surprises for the rest of her life. In fact, maybe she should just never speak to anyone ever again. That sounded like a better alternative than confronting Dorian. (Which she totally didn't want to do, because that would mean she'd have to acknowledge that he kissed her, and she didn't want to think about that if he hadn't pulled away so soon she might've kissed him back.)

        Of course, when she was sitting at breakfast with her sister, Camila curiously asked, "Well, did you like it?"

        Chloe's face fumed, because she didn't need to be reminded how she came back here in tears last night. Even though Mila comforted her, Chloe's sister had always been rooting for Dorian, so it didn't come as a shock to Chloe that Mila tried to come to Dorian's defense.

        "Mila!" Chloe hissed at her sister. Camila only shrugged.

        "What? It's a valid question. I'm not saying it has to mean anything. I was just curious as to whether you thought he was still a good kisser is all." Camila had always had a knack of sticking her nose in other people's business. Chloe didn't feel like becoming her sister's next soap opera.

        Chloe shook her head at her sister. "It doesn't matter if I liked it because it's never going to happen again," she replied stubbornly.

        "Why not?" Mila really was digging the nails into her today.

        "Because he cheated on me!" Chloe incredulously reminded her sister. Mila rolled her eyes at that.

        "So? That was, like, ten years ago, and you guys were teenagers. You need to stop hanging it over his head."

        "That's not fair," Chloe pouted.

        "What isn't? The fact that you've been making yourself out to be some saint? Newsflash, baby sister, you're not. I don't know what kind of bullshit they're feeding you in New York, but you aren't some higher being."

        Chloe stayed silent at that. She knew, of course, that her sister was right, that Dorian wasn't all to blame. Truthfully, Chloe hadn't even thought of Dorian after seeing him at Bryn and Gabe's wedding, other than the days leading up to his arrival in the city. Maybe she would've forgotten about it if she hadn't run into Toby that day.

        But she did run into Toby, and then a day later she was blinking at Dorian in a drunken haze. (Admittedly, not her finest hour.)

        "Mila, what am I going to do? I know I was wrong, and I know he wasn't trying to hurt me, and I know I want him to smile at me again, but I totally shut him out last night."

        Camila laughed at her hopeless tirade. "Oh, little sister, not even the toughest doors can withstand you."

        "What?" Chloe asked, uncertain about what her sister was getting at.

        Mila rolled her eyes. "If you want him back, then go and take him. You're the most stubborn person I know; literally nothing could stop you."

        Chloe cocked her head to the side. "Funny. Grace says the same thing."

        Her sister snorted. "Well, that's because we're the two people who know you best. I have full confidence that you will prevail in whatever you decide to do."

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        Chloe was appeased by her sister's reassurance. Suddenly thinking of how last night went, she deflated. "But I told him I didn't want to see him. Why would he believe me if I said I wanted to talk to him?"

        Camila shrugged. "Don't know. Even if you were as harsh as you say you were, that boy's always come crawling back the second you called."

        Chloe thought about her sister's words late into the day. During that time, the girls' mother came in. Their mother, Carolina Rivera, the beautiful Spanish woman, even in her early fifties, had treated her girls with the love that had been missing for so many years. (Chloe and Mila had wept with their mother as she apologized for neglecting her daughters when her marriage began to fall apart.) Chloe had missed her mom like crazy, having not seen her face to face since she moved back to Spain. Much as she loved her mother, Chloe's life in New York was more demanding, and she could never afford to go to Spain. (There was no way she was asking her father for money. She didn't want anything connected to him near her mother.)

        Though the sisters were catching up with their mother, Chloe opted not to share the details of her life in the last few months. (Especially the Broadway thing. She didn't need them to know if this turned out to be a monumental fail.)

        It was getting late. The family had eaten dinner an hour ago, and Chloe was still at war with herself. She was too embarrassed to call him, and she was too scared to take the path to rejection yet again. Maybe if this wasn't Dorian, maybe if she didn't know what it was like to be hurt by him, she wouldn't be so afraid. But this was the reality: Chloe had loved Dorian, and Dorian had broken her trust by making out with her best friend.

        It wasn't easy for her to trust Grace again. But Grace had refused to give up, and Chloe couldn't fight her anymore. She had missed Grace, but she was too hurt and betrayed to tell her. When the two finally started talking again, Chloe confided all her pent up emotions so that there were no more secrets between them. She couldn't forget all the tears Grace had cried when Grace confessed that she was never in love with Dorian and that he just made her feel less alone. True, she had Chloe and Bryn and a handful of other friends, but Dorian was the only one that ever got her, especially after she and Toby broke up. Grace had said she just wished they hadn't hurt Chloe, that it was her only regret.

        Chloe didn't like to bring up the past. If it ever came up in conversations, she always found a way to steer it in a different direction. She didn't like remembering how Grace had hurt her, especially with how close the friends were. Chloe wanted things to feel as if the past never happened, because then she was never mad at Grace, and life could proceed in its humdrum routine.

        Chloe knew this was why she couldn't see Dorian. She was being totally unfair, because it looked as though Grace got a free pass. Maybe Dorian had more trust put in him since he was her boyfriend, but it took two to tango, and Dorian shouldn't have had most of the blame thrown onto him.

        It was decided, then. Chloe would stop moping, man up, and tell Dorian all the things she never said.

        Oh, God. Really, this sounded so much better in her head, and standing on the front porch of his family's home was a hell of a lot more intimidating than it originally seemed.

        What if he slammed the door in her face? She probably deserved it. She already slammed a metaphorical door in his face last night. Karma's a bitch.

        Sucking in as much air as her lungs could take, Chloe swallowed her pride and rung the doorbell. The minute she waited for the door to open felt like the longest of her life.

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