A Perfect Circle

04 | stop trying

04

S T O P  T R Y I N G

I'D SPENT ALL DAY Sunday hiding in my room and avoiding social media, dreading the fact that today - Monday - I'd have to actually socialize.

I was thirty minutes early for class. Late just wasn't my style, I guess. I liked getting there before everyone else so I could have my nose buried in a textbook, as opposed to the walk of shame that came with arriving late.

The 7:30 a.m. hallways were deathly quiet. My Oxford shoes clapped against the tile as I passed by the bluish-purple lockers, and a big picture of a panther was spread above them in shiny black paint. Though the fluorescent lights were as bright as they always were, there was something dark about the school at this hour.

I still hadn't told Jenny the truth. It was gonna be worse the longer I drew it out for, but... the thought of telling her made my skin crawl. Jenny was scary when she was angry, and I'd never done anything of this caliber before.

Wheels rumbled ahead, and with a frown, I looked up. Jolts raced across my skin. It was Ren, and my heart dropped to the speckled tile floor.

With a plaid shirt buttoned up all the way, he skateboarded slowly down the hall with his eyes glued to his phone screen, a big pair of thick-rimmed glasses on his face. I kept my head down. He'd asked if we could be friends and I'd rejected him (which I felt like shit about), so saying hi to each other was probably off limits.

So when his voice resounded through the empty hall, my chest raced.

"Ella."

I froze. Why did my simple name off his tongue give me chills? Ren had a voice as smooth as a clarinet, gentle yet strong, heavy yet temperate.

I faced him, hugged my binder and nibbled on my bottom lip. "Hey."

His expression was flat. "Did you finish the project?"

"No, I forgot."

I'd realized it just after Ms. Zhang had closed the drop-box.

"But I've always been a good student," I said, "so I'm gonna ask for a second chance."

Ren and I had homeroom together, Mr. Weber's Science class. Both Max and Jenny were in it too. The other class we had together was Graphic Design, but none of my friends were in it, and I didn't think Ren had any, either. Lakewood was a massive school, so it was easy to end up stuck in a class where you hardly knew anyone.

I think everyone knew Ren, though. I was pretty sure that every single person in our grade at least followed him on Instagram.

"Yeah, she'll probably be cool with it," he said. "I just barely finished mine on time."

I nodded. "I hope so."

Silence befell us. I hid the lower half of my face with my binder, rubbing the fabric against my skin, while Ren shifted his weight with one foot on his skateboard. Our eyes clashed for a brief moment, and my cheeks went up in flames.

"I should go," he said. "See you in class."

"Oh... okay. Bye."

He got on the skateboard and rode away. I skittered down the hall, holding my breath until my heart was on the edge of stopping.

I halted around the corner and took a deep breath. The off-white walls of the hallway pulsed around me. God, Ren was just a guy, but the damage he did to my nerves was catastrophic.