Little Spy | Peter Parker ✓

[31]

THE TEARS HAD DRIED AND THE PAIN HAD DULLED, leaving me feeling empty and irrevocably grieved with nothing to distract myself with. Where I would have cried long and hard before, this just felt like a passive state of nothingness, which left me feeling worried for both myself and what little sanity I had left - did this mean I was giving up?

Inga hadn't been here all day, she had left early that morning after sticking pins and needles into me as though I was a кукла Вуду. She had replaced her ever impending presence with a large man who looked at me like I was the dirt on the bottom of his impeccably shined shoe, who left me alone but made sure I knew leaving my room was out of the question. News like that absence should and would have made me happy, but it hadn't been a relief of anger; far from it, as the man acted with the same cruelty and more towards me, leaving me broken when he left. Only, that time, the tears didn't fall, and I felt more resigned than I had in my entire time here.

I stood in the doorway of the open area Inga had declared her workspace, not saying anything but knowing she knew I was there by the way she had stiffened. I didn't even know what I had to say, or if I could say it; I had so many questions but the answers were things I feared and something I dreaded. It could confirm the realism of the demons that hung over my shoulders every waking moment of my life, or destroy everything I thought was a reality, or bring unspeakable terrors to devour my cruel vision of my world. There was no promise that she would give me what was asked for, but if she did, I wasn't sure how to take the truth.

Finally, licking moisture back into cracked lips and forcing myself to step forward, I spoke. "What comes next? For me?"

Inga didn't turn; I suppose my question wasn't worth the movement away from her work, or maybe she just didn't care - or both. "Извините?"

"After I do whatever it is you need me to do, what is there left for me? And what are you going to do to the boy? What is this...what is this all leading to?"

She didn't speak for several seconds, but when she did, she still didn't face me. "That is not your business to worry about. All will be dealt with in due time."

"That's not enough," I muttered. While inside I trembled and shook, I forced myself to looked resolved and more courageous then I felt. "I need more than that; what exactly am I here for? It seems to change every single day. I can't just...my place here isn't just to be moved around like a pawn in your game. I deserve to know just what damage that move will cause, don't I?"

"You already know."

"Do I?"

Inga whirled around, eyes flashing, and forced me to back away as she drew closer. Red nails flew through the air and barely missed my cheek, leaving her to retract and glare even more after my defensive step back. "Stop acting like a child and get back to work. I don't have time to deal with you."

Still, I stood tall, though my defiance had seeped out of my body and into the floor, deserting me in the time I needed it most. This time, however, I couldn't just fall and submit because of fear and because of Inga's intimidation; I needed answers, and it seemed as though she was the only one who could give them to me. "No, not anymore. I'm not just going to play your silly games - I'm not just your little toy. If I am going to be your weapon, I deserve to know the truth. What are you going to do to him?"

We stood in silence for several seconds, her eyes filled with anger and mine with worry and fear, a part of me regretting this decision but another edging me on. For a moment, her fists her tight and risen to her chest as though she was going to strike, and I carefully tensed in case she tried something. Finally, however, she broke, brushing past me into the open area that made up our 'home'. "When this is done, you will return to the Academy and be recognised for your work, as was told to you. You'll graduate, as long as you obey the rules until we get to that point. If you can accomplish this simple task, there would just be one last step and then you'd move on."