Ramblings of a Mad Man

the early years.

  So kindergarten, first year of school. On the first day i instantly became friends with this girl Emily, who i am best friends with to the day. She is amazing.she is funny and smart and kind and there for me. Even when we didn't talk for a bit. We were in the same class together every year till grade 6, and sadly for grade six and seven we hardly talked, but we will get to that when we get to my later years. The second day, i made i mistake which i think is the biggest mistake i ever made. I became best friends with Tia Fitzpatrick. At first she was amazing... Untill she wasn't.as you read on you will see how truly awful she became. At first my school life was great. Ya a few people picked on me but it was okay. I could handle it. My and emmy stayed super close but me and Tia would get in huge fights, say we hated each other, then make up,repeat. The grade one, not much happened, at least at school, but the bullying got worse and so did the fights between me and tia. But on the brightside me and emmy stayed close, and i had a new friend, naomi. Me emmy and naomi stayed close. Then grade two happened, ya me, naomi (berry), and emmy were close but mine and tias dads hated each other. Me and tia had to keep our friendship a secret. We lived right near each other so it wasn't hard to meet and hang out in secret. We would be laughing but the second we saw a family member we would pretend to fight. It got to the point where her family egged my dad's house, which of course, i helped them with. Then we got them back by TPing their house, in which tia repaid the favor and helped us. Except for the secret friendship, life was looking up. I was making more friends and getting along with more people. Then grade three happened, mine and tia went back to the friendship we had in grade one and i became friends with Miranda. I even became semi popular. But the quickly changed when miranda spread lies and rumors about me, with the help of tia. Everyone believed them because they were my best friends. Or i thought they were. I tried to go about school like i did but everyone thought these things were true. They started avoiding me, insulting me. Everyday i was bullied by at least ten people and that lasted until last year, but i'm still bullied everyday i go to school, but that's to talk about later. Back to grade three, my nickname, was coughman. My last name is hoffman and i have asthma so i cough alot. They were sooooooo creative there. (note the sarcasm) but when you're little it matters a lot. Now let's talk about my home life during those year, it's interesting. Kindergarten, life's good at home. Grade one.... Well you read chapter one. But you don't know what happened once we got home. Me and my sisters went straight to bed because it was late, around midnight. My mom and my dad waited a little bit, and then when the thought we were asleep they started screaming at each other. Screaming about cheating, screaming about me and more about me. Then my dad came up to my room and told me none of this was my fault, kissed me on the forehead and left, even though the whole time is pretending to be asleep. I remember that night as if it was last night... and i don't think i will ever forget, after all i broke up my parents. And i know i know, all kids with broken up parents say that, but i remember the fight. It was my fault. But i guess i'm good at ruining my parents relationships. But that was grade one. I was young and yet i still remember having a big happy family. Now in grade two, my dad was already dating kayla and they moved in together. We were living in these green townhouses only a few houses away from tia and only a few minutes away from my grandma and grandpa, where we were living when i was about 2. My mom and CJ had already dated and broken up. But my mom has been in a few relationships, it's kinda hard to keep track. We were still living in these white townhouses by the spray park and pond that we were living in when my dad left. I was switching between the houses, staying at one for a week then going to the other parents for a week. And i guess i liked it but i was little so i got confused at times. At my dads i had a new little brother. He was kayla's son who she had with another man before he died. His name is leland and he was still quite young, as was I. Then at my moms i had Kristina and Savanna, my older sisters. It was hard for me, having split up parents. But i got used to it slowly. After all i got two of everything. And i know i sound spoiled but i don't mean it that way, what i mean is that i got two families, and two of every holiday that i got to spend with my family's. It became normal to me. In grade three things got better. I became used to the split up familys but i still secretly wished my parents would get back together at times. Now i know that that would've been bad but i still wished. And i still do sometimes. I will admit that i have wished and dreamed of them being together. But i know that's a bad idea. Right? Is it so bad to wish tho? So bad to wish that my parents were together again? So i could feel more.... Normal? And i know that 50% of marriages end in divorce but still. I guess that's part of the reason i don't like the idea of marriage, why i refuse to get married. And i know, I'm thirteen, i could change my mind right? Wrong. After all, almost every marriage i have seen and known have ended badly. With divorced parents fighting over kids, or parents walking out on their kids, abandoning them. Or people so deeply in love until they aren't. And i don't really believe in love anymore. It's just chemicals being released into your brain triggered by other person. That's all it is. I used to see it as more. I used to believe in soulmates and true love. Until my parents split and my dads and kaylas relationships turned bad. Which can be blamed on me. But we will get to that. Back to grade three. I was happy again. Well, at least with my home life. But that changed once my dad and kayla got married. I believe i was in grade three when they did. I remember this part very clearly tho. My dad was in the front seat and i was in the back. Someone had driven us somewhere and had to run inside. Once they were gone my dad turned around and asked me if it was okay of he asked Kayla to marry him. And i loved her, she was like a second mom to me, maybe even more of a mom to me then hollie. But it ruined all my hopes on my dad and mom getting back together. And i hated that. I hated it. The wedding was held in my grandparents back yard on the patio. Kayla was wearing a purple dress and i was so happy. But about a week after the wedding kayla became mean. She yelled a lot and would insult me at times. I thought I did something wrong and it took its toll on me. And that about sums up my home life in grade three oh and i was diagnosed as a borderline genius with hyperactive tendencies, ADHD, and ODD which is open defiance disorder.